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Jag fick frågan, som är upphovet till alltihop, på en akademisk tillställning där språket som talades var engelska. Och därför blev det också språket den här texten kom ut på. Jag ber om ursäkt om du inte tycker den platsar här på grund av det.


Vad har du egentligen gjort med ditt liv?

I was once asked by a much younger man if I felt that I had ever accomplished anything in my life. It was of course an insult. But since it was at least an interesting insult, and bearing in mind how mind-blowingly boring the social function at which this was asked had been up to then, I thought I really should try to answer. Earnestly.

Because I have loved so strong I felt my skin was fire, my ribcage exploding outward like a mad screaming super nova. I have spent a midsummers night on a beach with a girl I loved and walked home, hand in hand, through empty city streets in the first sunlight of that first morning. I have betrayed and I have been betrayed. I have seen pain inflicted on another person’s face and known that only I was ever to be blamed. I have been so close to another human that I felt we shared the same thoughts. And I have seen that same person walk away, saying I was incomprehensible to her.

And I have seen. Oh my God the things I've seen!
Hammerhead sharks circle in their hundreds above me deep down in a blue ocean. People small as specks of dust, when soaring high up under a blazing Spanish sun with nothing but a thin cloth and a thousand lines to keep me there, chasing the raising bubbles of air to let me fly, just a little longer. And I have learnt things I never even thought was there to be learnt. About myself, about the world, about life. I have been forever curios, and that has been all I ever needed.

And I have toiled and cried and thought it better if I died. And I have risen from that darkness a little wiser every time.

But this, of course, I never said. It would have sounded like an old man’s last grasp at glory. And in essence, that was most likely all it was.

So I answered "I have lived. And you might say that it is all I've ever done".




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Läst 57 gånger och applåderad av 1 personer
Publicerad 2024-02-17 12:53



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