I stand here at the gate, hesitating on the edge. Behind me is the life I’ve known, in front of me is the eternity I’ve yet to face. To go back would mean a failure, that my mind was not strong enough. To go forward would mean an end to everything familiar, a change to something I’m still not sure I believe in. To go back or go forth. I still hesitate.
I see nothing left for me to go back to. My life is already at an end, my goodbyes already taken fair and square. The future is hazy, hidden in the mists of uncertainty, the road an unknown path that could be filled with traps. To go back would mean plodding on in the same old tracks, chewing on the bit and never knowing anything but that. To go forth would mean a new beginning, or an eternal end. To go back or go forth. I still hesitate.
A bird is singing in a tree behind me, trying to persuade me to turn around and take a look at the life I know. To think of what I would leave. An owl is sounding its bittersweet call in front of me, urging me to take the chance when there is still time, to take this chance to end the routine. A chilly breeze tears in my clothes, playing with the shirt and making the rings on my wrists cling slightly, reminding me of my life up until now. To go back or go forth, how?
I’ve made up my mind, it is time to act. The time for hesitation is long gone. I have to move or else I’ll be left here, hanging in the middle of past and future. I grit my teeth, stare ahead and steps forward. We know what we’ve got but not what we might get. Surprise me.