Moonbeams shine through the open window
and make moon shadows dancing in my room.

Sitting in the darkness of hope,
watching the moonscape,
with longing to the end of my meanless life.
No one can see my agony.
My broken soul will never heal
and my belief in happiness and endless love
fades away.

To commit suicide is one way to escape,
but it’s a very wrong way to be excused
from this completely \"hell-like\" life.
But, I want to do it anyway,
and no one will never ever know WHY.

It rattles at the window.
The moon, my most trustworthy friend,
has burst into tears.
My otherwise comfortable friend is crying.
What shall I do?
I can’t just run away,
I’ve got to fight against my mind
and against my desire of death.


(våren 1994)