I know now why I drank for so many years.
alcohol consumption frees you from feeling phony
at the same time it leads you to it
which I hated
the feeling of being a phony
and if you tolerate your own bullshit
there is a chance you might tolerate others
that's why I almost drank myself to death
but death isn't a glorious thing
but it's presence is
almost a religious
one
like a ghost
watching you narrowly
not from the darkness but
from beyond