The sun is rising and I’m awaken by the blissful silence of morning. 
For a second, just one second, I lay there.
I can feel his chest rising and falling as he’s drifting through a dream somewhere far,
far away from reality. But am I not just as
far away from reality in that very moment? When everything is as still as I want it to
be. There’s no need to escape, no need to hide.
I can feel the anxiety and fear getting closer, clawing it’s way in, 
dragging me away from him. But for a
second, just that one second, I make believe that this is all we are.  
 
He kissed me the night before. Under the stars, at the top of the stairs. He leaned in as if
it was the easiest thing in the world for him.
I was shaking when he left me that night, but I don’t think he noticed. I don’t think I noticed, not
until I came home and I realized that there was yet another hole in my heart. Another piece missing,
stolen without any thoughts of the consequences.  
Stolen, or thrown in the hands of him? When I look in to his eyes I can’t remember.  
 
But how will I ever learn to stay? With the sobriety of the sunlight I remember my fears, my loneliness, my heart begging to not be torn apart any more. And as I make my great escape one more time I can’t
help but wonder
if this is all I will ever be.
A restless soul finding love only to dismiss it in fear of getting stuck. Creating a life in fairytale moments that are over in a heartbeat. Never worrying about being left behind because I always leave first.
I think...
I think I am slowly fading away in the need of constantly feeling alive.