there is soo many taboos theese days
so many that noone knows where to begin
you want to say so much but no matter where you begin you are just offending
creating threat of repecution revenge and persona non grata
yes we live in a time where the pedagogics are allmost only negative energy
i am telling you that youre standing wrong but i dont disclose whats right
its this way because we lost too many rules. Nothing works without rules
there is unwritten rules
and a few written ones
allmost all rules are unwritten
and this is done in the name of common persuit of freedom
there is negative freedom
and positive freedom
nowdays noone wants to tell the world witch is witch
because they are too sure that would mean the end of theire successfull social life
but i cannot be a victim
i know i can do better then this
for 20 years i ahvev been making myself into a victim in an effort to try and get people to come and meet me up on the way
but from the moment i experienced the change in polititians voices in the beginning of the ninetees, i knew, i grow more then this
its redicculous to state that i cannot grow more then i had before that change.
before the change it was a childsplay. with allmost no serious responsability in it
i didnt admit that. for 20 years. because i was sure then i would become and be treated like a traitor in the surroundings eyes
but allmost all the ten million other people did the same
and that is how taboos are made

so what do i do to exit taboos
the pain from 20 odd years of surpressing made me so strong finally that i dared penetrate tabu without beeing afraid of loosing my life
because in the end i couldnt suffer the torture of surpressing my soul and my heart i got so close to killing myself that i realized thet it allmost dosent matter if i die by entering tabu.
realized there was a just about surpassing horror in keeping on surpressing when closing a state of total annihilation of my human spirit. my will to live my joy my notion of beeing part of an awesome wholeness.

it took twenty years to admit this
twenty years to find the bravery it takes to take one step by moving my two feet from the dead place to the living place from the desert to the garden of eden
twenty years to do what takes one second to do

and it really is one small step for man, but a giant leap for mankind
if everybody did it
it would really be!