A person in a scattered dorm room
oversized too crowded
cluttered
like her mind
the impersonal walls and the room
no furniture that is her own

from the hallway echoed sound
under the door crawled insence smell
curry and fish fingers

while sharing space
everyday meeting by the stoves
a mutal annoyance over the state
of the sink, the dishes, the counter tops
listening to the crooning to
Maroon 5 and Enrique Iglesias next door
the talentless drummer down below
seeing the names on the white board
dreading the star meaning ‘kitchen duty’

never had she felt so alone
listening to the endless parties
on thursday nights
laying awake with the happy shrieks

from her window
she could see the leaves turn color
fall
gradually finding herself in a prison
gradually finding herself disappearing

though she did not want to admit it
not to anyone
but she had hoped that for her birthday
someone would care someone would see
someone would buy her a vodka bottle
‘one more year until twenty’
she did not want to admit it
as she sat by the window
staring at the pitch black darkness
hoping was for those who could afford it

there was no wish
while she took one pink candle out of the box
carefully putting it in the single grocery store bought muffin
lightening it
there was no wish as she blew it out
in a scattered impersonal room that mirrored her mind