Since my lonely childhood I've always been in pain
Hateful and messed up being forced to let doctors study my brain
Have you ever tried to kill your parents? 14 years old, people said I was insane
Haven't you all once been staring out the window, watching the rain
Thinking about all those people who should be slain

Put in a foster home, stuck in an empty room
Stuck with my thoughts in a fucking tomb
Having nothing but music, a knife and gloom
Escaped and slept at a graveyard a few nights
When you're a kid stuck in the system, you have no rights
You get so fucking tired of everything called life
Going to school just to pick yet another fight
Watching my brother put a knife to a teachers throat,
and I wished he would cut her just like killing a goat
Tried to put the school on fire, hoping everyone would die in smoke
Getting trouble with the cops but I just couldn't care
This was a time when I just wasn't there

15 years old and I earned my money from pissing on a guy
I pissed on him so much I thought he would never get dry
Now 19 years old, so tired of my diagnose
Still couldn't care, almost died of an overdose
For me it was whatever but my friends didn't agree
Only the amount of alcohol alone could have killed me
Phenazepam and Subutex, was also a deadly mix
But you know, I just didn't care, I needed a fix
Waking up from a state near coma and couldn't walk
I was so fucked up I couldn't even talk
Raising hell as soon as I got on my feet
I thought there was nothing they could treat
So I escaped the hospital, and broke moms house with a baseball bat
I threatened her with a knife, but I couldn't go through with that
Locked myself in and tried to kill myself
I had now totally lost my mental health
Cops broke in and handcuffed me, took me to a cell
I don't remember a shit but I was now in hell
Thrown out on the street with nowhere to go
Well, at least there wasn't yet any snow

21 years old, I joined a very bad gang of angry men
I've never seen such crazy violence as I did back then
Once I thought we actually even killed a man
But completely covered in blood, he got up and ran
We did some insane shit in Västerås for a pretty long while
Though I pretty fast understood this wasn't my style

25 years old now and I feel so god damned old
I think you can understand now why I am so cold
Still trying to reach that state of harmony
Yet my apartment is more like an armory
I'm choking on all the anger growing inside of me
Every fucking day I'm planning a killing spree
I feel like I'm losing it just like my dad
And I think this could turn out really bad
After losing many friends to drugs and suicide
My hatred for the world has no more place to hide
Perhaps I could succeed this special mission
All my captured brothers, maybe I'll see you in prison