Everything was so good,
No struggle,
No pain.
Now everyday is a pain,
A disaster to my mind,
I want to cry,
But I also want
To act brave
To act strong.
A constant battlefield between
Feelings
And horrors.
My future,
Fading away
With every breath I take.
Others are so
happy
and joyful.
They have nothing
to Lose.
I've already lost
The most.
My body weakens
By every day
Every moment.
An inner bomb
Waiting to blow up
The things
I have left.
A cold heart is all
That I have left.
Can not feel
And can not love.
I want to survive.
Get a medal
Be proud.
But all I get,
is more regret
And pain.
It got good.
Once.
And then I fell.

A constant struggle.
People blame
on moments
that they dislike,
But even I,
The owner of my body,
Don't know what's wrong.
Stabbed
And on the edge of
Breaking down
Giving up
The battle
And just letting everything
I ever hold up
Fall
And shatter