I don't even remember what it feels like

To be touched by another human being
I don't remember the sensation
Of skin pressed against naked skin
I don't remember the feeling of an embrace
I don't remember the safety
of listening to someone's heartbeats
I don't remember the effortlessness
Or the painless intimacy

Looking back I don't know what is real

I long for fingers run down my spine
A hand softly stroking my hair
Arms wrapping themselves around me,
Pulling me closer.
I wish for a kiss by the neck,
A whisper in my ear
I long for the softness and the realness
And the touch
Of someone living and breathing and
Loving

I long for the eyes
connecting with mine
I long for the ache of total submission
I long for the ecstasy, intoxication and catharsis
I long for the tenderness
The words
and the silence
I long for the bedtalks and secrets
And sharing
I long for the caring, and hugging
And love

I long for something real.