Steffany, the whole story.

Part one.

We where in our classroom as usual. It had been a long and fun day. It was a nice Wednesday afternoon. All the pupils seemed happy and calm. But I guess they where longin for the weekend. I could hardly wait to go home and see my adorable son and husband.
Well, my favorite pupil Steffany, yes I think she is, where writing on her essay. everyone where writing on their stories.
Her first sentence was:
"I hate my phone. I was just about to commit suicide when the damn phone rang. Oh my God, I had to change my plans again."
"What are you writing about dear?" I asked her. I was astounded.
"Nothing special. I have not began on my essay yet." she said. Oh, my goodness. I hope she was not about to be depressed again. I was very worried for her. But of course I tried not to show it.
"Dont worry Laura." she said, as if she could read my mind. I will not do anything craxy again. Not this time."
It sounded a bit odd to me, though. I did not feel sure about that at all. How could I be really sure that she did not hurt herself again! I hope she could talk to her parents if anything was wrong. She seemed to have a good life, but you never know what teenagers were thinking about. They are so sensitive.
She said everything was just fine, but I could not feel sure about it.

"I have so much things on my mind, Laura." she said the next day. It was Friday. The school day was over.
"Me also." I replied. "But you can always talk to me, dear Steffany." I said gravely.
"Yes I know that. You are so sweet." she answered, smiling a little.
"You dont have to worry. I will meet up with a friend tonight." she said happily.
At least she seemed happy at the moment.
"I will tell you everything tomorrow." she said eagerly.

I was sitting outside in my garden enjoying the sun. It was a nice and warm evening in june. This semester was soon over, and all the kids were happy and were looking forward to a long and sunny summer holiday.
But I felt somewhat sad. I wanted everything to be okay. But I felt something was wrong with Steffany. I could not feel satisfied. The birds were chirping so joyfully everywhere.

"Guess what! I met a marvellous boy last week. And I will see him tonight again." she said the next morning. Her eses were shining like stars.
It was wonderful to hear that! I knew that she had had such a hard life.
"That sounds so cool. That sound amazing." I said.
"Yes, isn.t it cool! I dont have enough good words for it! He is so nice and beautiful." she said smiling.
"I am sure he is." I answered.
"He really took my breathe away." she went on.
I had to laugh at her. She was so charming when she was so glad.. I hoped that this boy would treat her well. She was a very beautiful and sensitive girl. she talked about it a whole lot the following days.

when I came home that friday everything felt so good. My husband had made a wonderful meal consisting of mashed potatoes, steak, beans and a salad. Lovely! I shouted. so sweet of you.
He jus laughed at me.
"For sure." he said. "And you are sweet as well."
James came into the kitchen, smiling.
"Look here mummy." he said. "Me and daddy wrote a poem for you. It is pretty good I think." I smiled at him. He sounded a bit puzzled
"Oh my God!" I yelled. It was truly a fantastic day.
"And Oliver helped me to write a bit, too." he told me, laughing.
"No my dear. Cats can not write. I said. "Or can they?"
"Yes they can!" he said. "Do cats feel happiness do you think?" He asked me gravely.
"Oh well. I think so." I replied. He seemed a little worried. But he looked happy though.
Here is the poem:
Mmy heart will always be a flower. Flowers need rain and sunshine. And you are my sunshine. For always. I want to make you happy. I am a butterfly."
Oh my goodness! My little six yearr-old boy is so clever. That made me happy. I think I will show him this when he is a teenager. I had to laugh at that. I will think of this when he is a sulky young boy. Or maybe he will never be a sour and dreaming teen. You never know.

My hubby also wrote me a poem. I am so happy for that one. I can never write such a amazing thing.
It said: Please say you love me too.
Care for me, I care for you. You are everything I want, I swear. You make me so happy when you are here. I hope you always will be a part of my life. Forever. I hope this finds the way to your heart. We will never be apart. Cause you are so damn bright and nice. It feels like I am in paradise.
"Oh, my Go!". I cried. I almost began to cry.

That evening we had our cosy dinner on the balcony. My husband had made a chicken salad for dinner and we had wine for a drink. Of course James did have a coce with the food. He did not seem to like the food at all. But I was so happy and liked it very much. It was so fresh and yummy.
Everything felt perfect. By that time I did not know what was about to happen next.

the following day was a Monday. The sky was grey and dark. Everything seemed sad. I felt a cold wind when I stepped out on my porch. This day I had a free morning.

Part two.
I went for a little walk in the park with my son. It was a lovely autumn day.
"Why do the leaves have so many colours?" he asked. Of course he asked about that. He asks about everything. "I simply don't know." I answered, smiling.
"Look mum! A frog. A poor little frog!" he shouted. He was so lovely, my cute little son. He is my everything. And I am so proud of him. I love this autumn days. There where these smelling leaves everywhere. In every colour, red, green and yellow. I really love this season.
"Phy are there so many different colors?" he asked, biting his lips.
Oh, I am not sure why." I answered.
You don't know that much." he said. It made me feel so sad for the rest of the day. Damn him! How can he be so mean. I did not know what to say or do. But, I stayed calm.

It was another sunny and warm day. The birds were chirping beautifully in the trees. I saw a blackbird leaping on the grass. Probably it was searching for worms. Suddenly I felt so sad and lonely. Me and Steffany went out in the park the next morning. This morning we watched two bluetits in a tree. And we also saw lots of mallards. The Common gulls and Common terns were cirkling around us. I am certain they were looking for something nice to eat. But we forgot to bring some bread or oat for them. We both had a free day.
She suddenly nearly fell on some slippery leaves. Thein I found my chance. There was a little river there. The water smelled awfully. Suddenly I pushed her into the water. Now I finally get rid of her. It felt so good. It was the best thing I could do. She has so much self-esteem. I thought she was so good at everything: she was good at studying, to make new friends and almost everything. She was so damn beautiful and that made me feel mad and jealous. I am sorry but it is true. It is how I feel. I am a bad and cruel person.