I know what its like to be homeless
to feel totally alienated from the world
To desperately seek something meaningful in life,
and I can't even count on my fingers have many times I've failed and given up on myself.
I've let trauma rule my direction for my whole life, it wasn't a long time ago when I finally torn down all walls, all projections of others, my whole identity - to find myself awaken.
I've gone through a cold, isolated spiritual awakening that have taken me back to the core of my being, but at the same time taken my life away from me.
I've lost the person I always thought I were, I've lost lovers, friends, my family.
I've been loved for what I've given
not for who I am.
It took me a long time to learn to set healthy boundaries,
to stand up for myself,
to be real.

I've always had the art
the soothing strokes on a canvas
giving me safety
as if the smell of the colors,
the sound of the brush strokes
always been my home

I've always had Source
knowing there is something larger then life
guiding me, knowing that no matter what
I'm never alone
I'll always hear her singing in the wind
feel her love in a wave
feel her presence wherever I go.