Dread

I feel alone sometimes, not because I live by myself or because I don’t have people around me.

I have a family and I have friends that I can always talk to, it’s just that you ( pointing to the mirror) always stand right behind me and take away pieces of my life.

Those pieces are my confidence, my energy and my sanity, I always get them back after some time when I get the courage to fight back, it’s my hardest battle that I go through everyday.

Everyday I fight you who looks back at me, till I taste blood, till I can’t lift my arms, till I can only fall into bed.

When I close my eyes at night I don’t see nor feel the warmth of dreams, I dread the nightmare’s I know are coming.

The nightmares must hear my head hit the pillow cause not seconds after, they chase away that lovely and peaceful feeling, I only get to sleep after the awful thoughts have beat my mind, after they have slammed
my insecurities so hard that what’s left is an imprint on my forehead.

And that’s what I wake up to each morning, that stamp on my forehead, that is what greets me when I look myself in the mirror,
And i just smile and wave as i walk out the door.