Hi there folks, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to this airflight which will take you to, well whatever it is. We are just about to take off. I´ll just pull this gear and push that button, oops was that the wrong one?

I haven´t been flying this particular plane before, you see, well not any plane in fact, actually not been in a cockpit before, to tell you the truth. But what the heck, can´t be a big deal slapping this little metal chick around, not for a big handsome all-American number one guy like myself.

I´ll just pull every gear and push every button I see, som of´em must be right, I´m not stupid you know. What´s this then, some mother-fucker moron has put a note over the red button, it says ”DO NOT TOUCH - ONLY FOR NUCLEAR WAR - FOR HEAVEN´S SAKE DO NOT TOUCH!”

Telling ME what to do! Must be that short woman put it there. She´s corrupt that one, oh jesus I tell you, she´s the Devil, belongs in jail.

When we take off, I´ll see to it that we go with absolute super duper maximum speed, you´ll enjoy the ride, you deserve it, after all it was you put me here in this chair, just a moment ago.

And we will go a zillion miles up in the air and if we spot some vessels with trashy people in the water down there trying to get to our God-loving country, you can bet they are a bunch of terrorists and I´ll blast them to pieces.

So folks, in a sec we will be up in the air. I´ll just kick in a button or two in this goddamned stuff in here. Just hold on. Aren´t you overjoyed I´m your new captain? Aren´t you proud? Aren´t you feeling safe? Make America great again! Make America greeeeeat agaiiiiiiin!!