I prepare myself for people leaving me as soon as they step on my doorstep.
To keep my heart safe and protect my cheeks from ever getting wet.

I know I love people more than they love me.
Because for me they are family.
But each already have their own.
Isn't that a tragedy.

I want to crawl out of my own body cause the pain that I'm feeling is making me numb.
And I have to wait 6 months for my surgery.
Isn't that dumb.

I want to be strong enough to get out of my bed.
I don't want to do this anymore is always on repeat in my head.

If this is a ride I would like to get off now.
To get some peace.
To get some rest.
To stop this panicking tightening in my chest.

If I wasn't alive anymore.
I wouldn't feel this pain anymore.
I wouldn't dissepoint anymore.
I wouldn't be in the way anymore.
Maybe it would be for the best.

If life is a test.
Ohboy have I failed.
My train is nowhere near the rails.

What's the point of keep on living.
When everybody is taking without giving.
When nobody would save you out of a burning building.
Not even yourself.

Cause you put your heart on the highest of shelf's.
To protect it from everybody else.