“If I smile less. If I close myself. If I talk less. If I dance less. If I was less happy. All these if. If I were not myself, would you stop being around me? I don’t want to say no. My life is a constant no. No I don’t want to be with you. I want to be with myself. Just because I smile, laugh and interact it does not mean I’m interested.

I cannot change who I am.

I can’t change my behavior. I can’t change my attitude. I should not have to say no all the time. A no is so hurtful. It’s flattering, but it is hurtful. I want to be mesmerized not objectified. I want to mesmerize, I want to attract. I want to inspire, engage and intrigue. I’m smart, a misfit and I don’t want to be with you. Maybe it is a good sign? I’m a misfit, but this misfit can say no. A no means the world to me.” – Third time