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arkiv (82)in min hemsida istället: svenskadikter.com/emma . förbered dig för en världsregering Once signed, individual countries will surrender the powers of their sovereign nations to the WHO and the WEF. The move will ultimately position the United Nations as the unelected single global government. - newsaddicts The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, and our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of… It is they who pull the wires that control the public mind. Globalism and New World Order are nothing but fancy new names for Marxism, where the wealthy powerful few control everything while the "peasants" are expected to be happy to get their allotted meager rations. No opposition is tolerated to their ideology. . godmorgon bitchute sweden almost takes more immigrants (at least before) than the entire USA. so i have met people from all over the world. i like middle eastern people a lot, not just muslims, its lots of different folks from there. and asians are amazing, incredibly wise and talented. and latinas have that sad look which just makes me melt. and i love yugoslavians the most :) and the "north" in sweden isnt that much. in stockholm we get 3 months each of every season, its stopping now the snow, its almost +1c all week forecasted. so yes, people are more talkative and open during the summer. sometimes during the summer its even hotter in stockholm than it is in athens! but autotomatons. especially see this on the commute. people just stare blankly ahead. its a shame people have to work a job they hate to just turn into zombies, for themselves and for their family. i dont think anyone is an automaton though. no matter how mean someone has been to me, there have also been sweet moments, when they open up. something strange though, that others have reported on. i was with a hippie friend at a café. we were having fun and laughing and talking about lots of things. then i hear 2 people next to us talking really mechanically. turns out they "went" to a café to only talk on their phones... its a strange world. i cant, fortunately enough, handle smartphones. its just too much radiation. same for tv, i think its that which brainwashes people. not the content per se, just the strong light, like staring into a void, or staring into the sun, would be more healthy for people, sungazing, ancient hindu art. smartphones even turn warm, its dangerous shit people are playing with... i think i like stockholm though. i dont know if its because im attractive, but almost every woman i talk with flirt with me in a jiffy. im 40 and people say i look 25. its like... people live off of sexual energy. id call that the real stockholm syndrome, eventhough i know its supposed to mean something else... oh, by the way, my first girlfriend was a german jew, aka ashkenazi. she was incredibly wise, and i made her laugh all the time, with just my wise thoughts id thought for myself. my second was italian, she was a healer. third was a mix of everything (african, several european countries), she was openhearted like me and real talkative, and also a healer. my fourth was a "dumb blonde" but i saw her greatness and her beauty without makeup. "and friendly" actually, swedes are known (i thought you knew? :) as being among the friendliest populace on earth. only sri lanka is better. at least its so in stockholm, in the smaller cities its like you go back 25 or 50 years... i remember having torn jeans in kristianstad (northeast southern sweden) and people couldnt handle it. HELLO. have you heard of the ramones, or nirvana? haha. as for friendly, of the newest people at my job. id say the gay guy, he always jokes around, and hes, well, real gay :) then a syrian woman, she gives me hugs and kisses, and she looks so sad, in a beautiful way. then another syrian woman born in turkey, shes just for real, and does her job real good, and real attractive at her age (shes vegan). . well said. the radiation from 5g phones is crazy. normal computers have fans, but these phones run real hot, and thats just one sort of radiation. i use a slim 24-hour battery laptop. get no ill effects. smartphones ruin both the mind and the body. i remember borrowing my girlfriends phone some years back. first my hand got cold, i got a little high from it and wrote a lot, then my arm got cold, then my legs, then my whole body. all the while, im surfing on youtube unable to make up my mind and just viewing things randomly. these turn you into a zombie, and its worse than tv! you have it with you and in your face and in your hands all the time! . yes there would be. they follow their god. but also, they follow their choice of poison. most people have their first "spiritual awakening" when theyre drunk or high. the "spirit" of the poison talks to them, and if theyre in a christian country, they think they are talking to god / jesus, but its really a demon. . ghetto babes jag levde i ghettot förut låg med 2 kvinnor (jag vet, jag har ingen skam) de var otroliga på massa olika sätt en var spåtant och otrolig i sängen den andra var stark som få och en healer, som bella men båda ville ha grejer för att jag skulle visa min kärlek... en ville ha en smartphone happ, 10000 borta en annan ville ha en peruk ahapp 5000 borta går inte att leva så... de hade tuggat mig och spottat ut mig till slut om jag inte gav de grejer bella älskade mig för den jag var och jag fortsätter älska henne skriva om henne <3 . inkvisitionen dödade 50000 av våra shamaner kom ihåg, du är inte kristen, om du är europeisk, du är druid it was 500-1000 years ago. aka the witch burnings (killing our shamans). Yes, it is estimated that early Christians burned about 50,000 holistic healers to death, that they called witches. I just ordered a book called The Darkening Age - The Christian Destruction of The Classical World. The Abrahamic religious tradition is truly a death cult. the only "real" witch they burned was elisabeth bathory. you werent allowed to even say her name (punishable by law) for 20 years. but i didnt know it was that bad. 50k? wow... ive actually made some rune-staves. one was an old root i found in the woods while walking randomly. i removed the outer layer and polished it with coconut oil. then a decade later i had it on me while at work, while we did some yoga. i "summoned" my wife this way, no matter how weird it sounds. runes are real powerful, thats why they are even "hidden" on computers (charmap.exe) in fonts starting with "R". we should take our religion back! we arent christian, we are druids! so many people talk like judaism would be different than christianity, or that "islam" is taking over the world. but theyre all the same. we used to live in harmony with nature, now, just look at us. some people have said that im like an old happy witch, with how i talk. im more normal now though, but i was quite chaotic some years ago, before i started with dip. hey! i worked out 2 hours today. its better with muscle strength than having a gun, then you take care of yourself too, body and mind. whatever happens with the early 2030 agenda, i am ready. ive lived my life, if i and almost everyone dies, then so be it... . Securitised Tokenized Asset (från bitchute) The World is now a 'Securitised Tokenized Asset' as are all people on it. The Financial Meltdown Matrix on the near Horizon (To buy the earth, and all, body and soul) this is what agenda2030 is really about coming soon to your hometown not even satan will receive them low lives, carbon transition is code word for depopulation, since human activity is said to cause the most CO2 emissions, 9 tonnes each year for an adult. Carbon based bipeds or humans are the carbon that WEF, UN and WHO want to reduce "A.I. Hivemind" you forgot that everything in the entire world, will be connected to a CBDC $bitcoin asset. they will take everything you own, hierloom paintings, gold watches, toilet paper - all of it. youll get things handed to you if you are an obedient citizen, which there arent many left of anymore. they tried with monkeypox - if you had a zit you were lethally ill - but no one fell for it. from my country of sweden was supposed to spread a new swine flu - no one fell for it. how will they figure out how to do it now? it will probably turn into an anarchy, they have the options figured out already... "everyone who is against CBDC will be expelled from society" - klaus schwab a few days ago at davos. Tomas Sofia Johansson-Jonsson jo, jag tror att vi alla är djur, glömde nämna det. som kinesiska stjärntecken. tycker inte människan är destruktiv, det är bara det man ser i nyheterna på tv och i blaskorna... Kungskobran Människan är skuld till allt om klimatet blir varmt eller kallt hon måste bort annars är allt förgjort . a fantastical dream hey tracey :) <3 i feel wonderful! why? well i had a dream and immortal technique was in it lots that happened and i dont remember much it was a circus with horses both he and i performed then i was in a computer game and tech played it later and killed stephen hawking then it was some horror movie i dunno we talked some dunno about what he said he had no rights anymore he was a shadow citizen moving around all the time this is the best thing thats happened for a year or even more amazing normal living is boring... i live for dreams . *kram* jag föredrar dina kramar mot allt mot ditt utseende dina kläder ditt sex som bellas fjärilskramar eller när jag hoppade med henne i famnen i en bråkdels sekund i tyngdlöshet som grevinnans enda kram när jag hade stånd som ankis kram och jag kunde känna hennes mysiga mysk parfym och 12 BPM hjärtslag som när en gammal finska kramade och kysste mig från ingenstans som när idamo kramade mig tacksägelsevis när jag sa att hon var den bästa electro artisten i världen kramar är det bästa det som jag eninrar bäst och som läker bäst kramar tack för att du finns! . *hugs* i prefer your hugs versus everything its better than your appearance your clothes your sex as bellas butterfly hugs or when i jumped with her in my arms in a fraction of a second in weightlessness like the countess only hug when i had a throbbing boner like ankis hug and i could feel her cozy musk perfume and 12 BPM heartbeat like when an elder finnish woman from nowhere came up to and hugged and kissed me like when idamo hugged me thankfully when i said she was the best electro artist on earth hugs are the best what i think of most and which heals the most hugs, thank you for existing! . sverige får agenda2030 i maj 2024 Sveriges politiker inför tvångsvaccinering i maj 2024. Då ansluter politikerna svenska folket till WHO. (från facebook) lev medans du kan... . luftburet vaccin - hur pandemi 2.0 kommer gå till Scientists Develop "Airborne mRNA" To Vaccinate Populations Without The Need For Consent thepeoplesvoice.tv håll ögonen öppna nu i sommar eller höst så är alla döda eller förslavade de hoppas på 90% dödsfall över hela jorden och har ett äss i rockärmen mot alla vaccin motståndare luftburet gift ryska militären har varnat väst att starta en ny pandemi (finns klipp på telegram som skulle censureras här) dom vet exakt vad som pågår, samt har folk vaknat upp globalt på en massiv skala, protesterna i Europa ökar, Texas är på gång rejält nu 700000 där, mänskligheten vaknar mer o mer varje dag, kommer bli bra.. Sök info finns så mkt positivt nu som händer . "reptilians are taking over!!!" theres a lot of alien lifeforms in the universe some are good some are bad its not just reptilians there are many different ones fighting for or against our survival if you shift to a higher dimension youll see them and youll see them in normal people we arent from monkeys we are divine aka annunaki with gene downgrades which can be removed "we are free to be free" . mass invandring vill förstöra USA Jag tror att centrala och sydamerikanska regeringar släpper fångar för att migrera till USA för att tjäna två syften, först för att lätta på trycket på lokala fängelser och för det andra för att destabilisera USA. Det finns dussintals mellanstationer på väg som stöds av FN, EU:s immigrationsavdelning, WHO (Gates) etc. Kuba gjorde samma sak för decennier sedan. Och du kan inte stoppa dem att korsa eftersom du inte får skjuta. Det är ett stort skämt att skicka dit trupper som inte kan stoppa dem. Och dina bårder är porösa som ett såll. BREAKING: de flesta migranter som kommer över gränsen är män i stridsåldern. Det finns väldigt få familjer. Vad vi vet nu är att det förväntas att WHO kommer att skapa ytterligare en pandemi och använda dessa migranter som FN-soldater för att tvinga vaccinera att gå hus till hus. De har utbildats i Turkiet och Ukraina. Det har också en ung man som reser i en taxi i New York uppgett. Vi måste stoppa WHO-fördraget när vi ger upp vår suveränitet till det. Var är alla unga hanar? Blir insatt i bostäder av FN som betalat för sin väg hit. USA och världens regeringar med på det för NWO-agendan. Förräderi! - bitchute> . ragnarök the world is ending and theres no way in hell we can stop it but i believe in multiple lives especially the ones i have seen in dreams and also in reincarnation of course we can just work on living our dream reading a lot talking a lot learning a lot expanding our minds and our empathy thats what einstein said anyway . hi tracey :) <3 im sorry you dont comment or blogg a lot anymore... but i feel amazing right now had god awful anxiety yesterday it was unbearable eventually maybe said so but i dont think of the bad days i dont get bitter <3 and neither seem you happy to have seen a new pic of you yes miss mom was here it was great. i worked out and got some energy so i cried some while playing good songs she liked . transcendance etc well satanism only means you pray to saturn. "the all seeing eye" with its rings. satanists are real wise, the ones ive met. they were cannibals too and it was close that one or two of them drank my blood. i find them interesting :) im an artist so i find the world to be beautiful, not dark grey and gloomy and raw and violent. maybe im one of the few. hindu gods are both good and evil side, its monotheism which ruined religion. hindu gods can do both bad and good things, it should be logical, they were once manly and transcended to angelness and godlidome... The Celestial Hierarchy. Not only the Hindu "gods," but beings from many worlds began their eons-long journeys as lesser beings ages ago before reaching their current exalted status. The Catholic concept of "Sainthood" encompasses this progression, as humans "ascend" to the next higher state of consciousness and existence on their way higher and higher in the eons-long progression from mineral to godhead. i wish i could transcend... but i dont drink nor smoke. people that say "life is hard" is because theyre junkies, even if they can maintain a normal life. not many people talk about it (but they "pretend" to be normal while living in a nearly separate reality). but the heavy junkies, they have fought satan and fucked god, and met all the angels, been on many planets. this i know, even if i dont know it. once i was in the fifth dimension for a few months, many amazing things happened. it was like in another world, even if it was the same. now i live in a real boring reality. i wish i will transcend when i die, or when i get cremated. even buddism has a hell. i dont want to go there, because i dont do substances, i dont know much about the higher dimensions. i wont be able to handle it. i hope it will be different, because i have seeked truth ever since i was 7 years (i am 40 now), and drug abuse just makes you dumb. dumb when you take it, and dumb afterwards, and it ruins your body. . blev det bättre blev det bättre blev det bättre blev det bättre ska jag byta snus sort blir det bättre då ska jag byta älskning blir det bättre då ska jag byta mamma blir det bättre då ska jag byta youtube kanal blir det bättre då ska jag byta namn blir det bättre då ska jag bryta benen blir det bättre då ska jag bryta vänskapsband blir det bättre då ska jag bryta bellas hjärta blir det bättre då blev det bättre blev det bättre blev det bättre . strange weather i just wanted to mention something which i havent heard from anyone else i have great psychic abilities but its only through what i do i dont do magic white nor black anyway some year ago during corona it was +8c degrees for almost 8 months we had 1 week summer in the middle of the year as in chemtrails didnt work there then we had 3 weeks autumn and an icecold month between november and december with -14c to -24c i dont know how this all ties together but i "saved" the weather through my "conspiracy theoring" online i also complained about apples tasting disgusting recently with all sorts of different conservative poisons and you know what? now they taste natural! we can all affect our reality and i hope you do too now its coming spring in stockholm but it was -15 on and off for 3 months lesse what weather we get this year more natural i suppose . i am infinite i am infinite i am source i am creativity i am art i am music i am superstrings i am vortex theory i am superpowers i am wisdom i am insight i am light i am god i am master . misc bitchute political comments for the day replies on TheCrowhouse's video TRUTH ALWAYS BECOMES SELF EVIDENT there are a lot of black jews in nigeria. judaism was first black people. they go back a long time... and every religion and people used blood sacrifices before. the latinos before they were latinos, sacrificed 26000 virgins per year. same for indic people, they did the same, so the ganges would be pure. the pyramids are about blood sacrifice as well, huge chambers available for blood. it gives superpowers if you drink it, the adrenochrome too. how they built the pyramids... black jews eat the clitoris, they used to chop off the foreskin and then let the elder of the village eat it. now its a multibillion industry. one foreskin is worth 150 000 $. i have personally met cannibals and satanists, and find them to be good people. you just cant piss them off alive, or they curse you or drink your blood. i have just been lucky, i guess... its not just the elite, and its not just jews. rome goes back 7000 years, have met a cannibal italian actually. its a lot of people. if you stay at church long enough, theyll present you with blood sacrifice rituals, eating shit, drinking piss. its in all religions, but hushed down. corona is fibromyalgia. it means you are oversensitive to metal and electricity and magnet fields. if you dont abuse your smartphone, you never test positive for corona, and no one will say you need to get the shot. they dont want this to come out for some reason, but they poison you (with smart tv and smart appliances and smartphones) and give you the cure, a nanocomputer... most people would line up if they could get a free smartphone in their bloodstream. its where we are at, and its where we are headed. the matrix is already here. when i got into the psychiatric system 2006, there was a nun who visited us once a week. then there were the pedophilia claims on the vatican church, and the nun stopped coming. a shame really, religion has a lot of good parts in it too. hitler was a khazar jew, he sacrificed his own people so they could get isreal. its on wikipedia even, the treatise after WW1. yep, got lots of deja vus in the beginning of the corona vaccine. i was living in my own simulation of myself. i dont know if im free from it now... it all merges together. news online showed news id seen 1-2 years ago. bitchute videos as well. was pretty scary... i take dip, like a cig you have under your lip. it freed me from OCD. no demons harassing me anymore. tobacco is a healing plant, why i sometimes smoke cigarillos too - they have 1 ingredient - tobacco, instead of cigarettes that have 77 foreign substances in them, one of them is even rocket fuel ffs. you forgot foreskin removal. anyone who doesnt have their foreskin left are bowers to satan. and its a lot in the usa. however much you yell, they took a huge portion of your life away when you were born, and youll never get it back. "As for the common consciousness I was thinking maybe not everybody is part of the same one... Same as some common consciousness drives many of us to value the "light" (freedom, beauty, love...) there are many avatars driven by some different consciousness, towards the "darkness". People were aware of opposing duality from ancient times (yin and yang). But lately I see more and more of a third kind of people: passive, NPCs, probably disconnected from both, just biological robots, floating avatars." "common consciousness" - thats weed and alcohol. all alcoholics and dopeheads instantly "connect" with eachother. and everyone takes either of the two in huge quantities. i thought i never fit into society, until i turned into one of them... do you take coffee? its an alcaloid. same for tea, it makes you desensitized so you need to work harder (or fuck more) to feel anything at all. yes, our minds can interpret anything. i guess you havent meditated enough, or thought enough. everything is a conciousness, even a rock. what the easterns call "kokoro" - the heart of things. the spirit doesnt store it, its in the "junk" dna, we have the whole universe inside of us, waiting to the activate for superpowers to hopefully save the world from the organized satanic elite. the problem though is that the satanists (like davos) stick together, whistleblowers arent dime a doze, and have to fight for themselves, while they have 10000:1 against them or even more. YHVH is pronounced Yeshua, aka jesus. yes, he was a elohim, and they wrote the bible, aka aliens / demons / fallen angels / "the illuminati" (unseen, they are on a high frequency that not many can see (i can)). or one guy said psaul wrote the bible, only that psaul was a dragon... i actually watched tv for awhile. the "news" of the "ukraine war" was laughable. it was all fake. i cant understand how people cant see through it. bring on agenda2025! theres so many useless eaters anyway, humanity is doomed, its all zombies without us being (fully) controlled. there is "shedding", if you are vaccinated you "shed" the graphene self-building nanocomputer to others in the room where you are. if you don't actively take drugs against it, you are part of the system. you can check on the mobile if you send out an internet MAC bluetooth address. if you do, you are part of the sheep. zinc and b12 work to get it out of your system, avermectin is also on a google search, to get rid of immortal hydra. then there is also C60, the strongest antioxidant in the entire world. crows are particular. ive tried to talk to them some, and all they say is kro and kra. one said, after i annoyed him, "you are krooooo". other animals and birds speak the same language (swedish) to me. its calle telekinses, i either just think words while looking at them, or talk. both work. they respond telekinetically. you can talk to anyone this way as well, they hear it, somehow. telepathically as well to any spirit or person in the entire world. the masters arent the masters either. its aliens (overlords) controlling them, like the green, aka reptiloids, belatriciano. i saw a video of a rottschild talking about taking over the world, he stammered lots like someone else was putting words in his mouth. https://twitter.com/maxigan/status/1745509392584151069 sorry to burst your bubble, but isreal has "the samson option". if they ever get attacked, theyll launch nukes to kill the whole world. they control more places than earth, so it would be no loss to them, theyd just restart it like they are restarting mars. "Agreed! Why will people understand that frequencies can heal (vitamin D for example) but then you mention that frequencies can do damage and they look at you like you from another planet. Guess because they are to integrated into technology and its convenience to ever want to believe it to be true." i was hooked on a lot of neuroleptics before. got sick sick ideas in my mind, its from the polluted air with microwaves. normal people drink a lot and feel good from it, but get automagically brainwashed from it as well. same for weed, a little weed expands your mind, but if you take a lot, you just turn into a blubbering fool. alcohol is the greatest evil ever. it makes people "connect" since they drink together, but this is better if its an intellectual than sexual (disgusting) conversation. but people dont want IQ, and have never wanted it. even kids used to drink alcohol ("svagdricka" / "ale") when the water was dirty before (fermenting removes the toxins, it actually helps if the water is dirty to make the fermenting happen). "Why didnt you include jews are most prone to psychopathy and mentall illness?" well said. my first girlfriend was jewish (german jew, so, kazarian) and she was real real crazy. said i should stab people in her psychotic delerium. i coulda stayed as i made her pregnant, but then i think i would eventually have stabbed someone. i also know a woman who blames her "eating disorder" on her being gone 6 months all the time. but its her jealous jewish man who beats her to a pulp often. also know another woman (swedish) who this happens to. she works a few days, then shes "sick" for half a year. also has an abusive husband. thanks man. ive searched for the truth since i was 7 years, so for 34 years. im a taurus so i think with my throat not my "gut instict" (which can many times be wrong even if it helps you a lot, like people trust their gut when they choose a partner, then wonder why it went wrong). i can instinctively "feel" truth. and truths ive learned i can unlearn when presented with something new, which only has to be a few words. i have high brain plasticity. well i got to doze them myself, and back then i believed in authority. so i just took more and more. i figured, if i felt bad, i take meds and feel better? its what were all taught. now i dont have many meds. i unfortunately cant quit neuroleptics. since ive never taken drugs, if i remove the neuroleptics i come to another world. not a schiphrenic like, just some things are different, different playing rules. if you began drinking in first grade (many in my class did) and started with weed and heavy drugs you dont get psychosies, since youre used to the "harsh" reality. i dont see reality as evil though, i see the beauty in everyone and everything. im an artist music and poet, hey, check my site (if it works on your side i dont know) svenskadikter.com/Emma i know it sounds weird, but jews get taught from an early age to be disciplined. of course they get hit often as well, but they learn to make money and build enterprizes. i know you can call it evil, while other people are content with working at mcdonalds and walmart all their life and drink beer, jews are brought up in a different way. i advised my mom against it, ive told her so many horror stories, but a month ago she took both the corona shot and the flu vaccine. shes just completely brainwashed. and guess what? a week later she got the flu anyway. im afraid the corona vaccine will kill her in some years. but her drinking is also part of the problem, it brainwashes her as well. she can barely speak coherently anymore, just talks in "power words". i told her about it, that they insult me, and now she said shes gonna move away from me. we used to make lots of art together, but she prefers her demons to creating beauty... "deja vu means you are on the right track" "On Sunday we posted this video about the charges of genocide that South Africa is bringing against Israel in the World Court, which could actually accomplish something since the United States doesn't have veto power in the World Court and thus can't protect Israel:" the "war on drugs" is a war on addicts, not the dealers. the medicine industry sells their drugs to mafias and gangs across the world, but first political partys get their share. thats NOT jews, and is a big problem. "jewry causes harm. Jewry is responsible for most of the problems in the world. It is people believing in the evil bible, christians and muslims that gives the evil cult that controls this world their power and protects them. Jewry is the gay pedo trans agenda, porn, making wars to make migrants, training them to hate white people, jewry created islam which command torture, murder and rape. importing blacks, radicalizing them by blaming whitey for the jewish run slave trade. Making gangster rap. Pushing drugs on the goyim. Making up the holohoax. Causing all wars. Usury, enslaving everyone with their debt scams. Climate hoax. Covid hoax. Big pharma, vaccines, control of all governments and industry, food energy. Hollywood degeneracy. Materialism. Communism. Globalism. Behind virtually every evil is another jew but i have to lie and pretend it is not happening. You are evil." "Luke 19:27 "But as for these enemies of mine, who did not want me to reign over them, bring them here and slaughter them before me.’” <-Rabbi jesus the king of the jews said this" "trying to present it to some people is simply futile" no, it is not. i am a spiritual warrior eventhough im not actually spiritual. i remember talking about corona or whatever it was on twitter, for each post i made, a keyword got 1k more posts, and it climbed from 7th position to 3rd. i make a huge impact on the world. before, when i had the vaccine fresh in me, chemtrails stopped. it was +8c all summer (like it is underground) and even afterwards. all weather is weather manipulation. before they used black magic ("rain dances"), now they use chemtrails and DEWs. i remember asking a psychiatric nurse about the weather that ive felt and she said it was "hot" in a bitter tone. so i make a huge impact on the world. we live on a dead planet, it only lives through us, and our magic. we do magic every day, like they say "every thought is a prayer". i remember going to sleep and having music on "shuffle", in my minds eye for a splitsecond, i could see some entity changing the order. aliens control us and experiment on us, just as we control and experiment on rats. Deuteronomy 13:7-12 Some of the gods of the peoples who are around you, whether near you or far off from you, from the one end of the earth to the other, you shall not yield to him or listen to him, nor shall your eye pity him, nor shall you spare him, nor shall you conceal him. But you shall kill him. Your hand shall be first against him to put him to death, and afterward the hand of all the people. You shall stone him to death with stones, because he sought to draw you away from the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. And all Israel shall hear and fear and never again do any such wickedness as this among you. ... actually, i learned from a history teacher way long ago, that countries take in immigrants, when their population doesnt birth enough children. it needs to be at least 1:2.1 woman:child, that is, each woman needs to bear 2.1 children on average. this is way lower in the western world. people are persuing protective sex and luxury items instead of caring about the family. so the white population are killing themselves, both by not bearing enough children, then by letting foreigners with a much more primitive culture take over their country. most women i know in sweden only have 1 child, since with all they work in and the alcohol they drink and all ways trying to be "perfect", they cant handle anymore. actually, when women do abortions themselves, a lot of them eat the fetuses. i know it sounds crazy, but it happens, more than youd think. thanks for these quotes though, that theyre even in the bible, and so many people whine about muslims, when its all right there in bright sunlight presented how vile the bible is. wow, theres more of us out there. i have neither a radio, tv or smartphone (not a dumbphone either). if i really need to make a call, i borrow a friends phone. the radiation in smart tvs and smartphones is out of this world, the times ive tried them, i got completely brainwashed and drooling, i couldnt even think. these things take over your soul, because of the strong electronics. we will all go to concentration camps in agenda2025. we dont oppose the politicians well enough, or try politics as a profession to stop them. but if you are presented with millions or even billions of cash, how many would oppose it? during corona doctors got huge bonuses if they filled the quota of corona deaths. we are all done for, and most others too, just the most drooling sheep will survive. it never crossed your mind that bitchute is situated in the united kingdom, the head state of the illuminati? that they all use this site to pick up on dissidents? our judgement will come soon. what i forgot to say, is if the point reaches 2:1 or lower, you get an increasingly aging population, which needs to be taken care of by the younger, which keep getting less. so it would just be retirement homes everywhere, and almost no nurses. the country would implode on itself. "There is so much wisdom eminating from the words you speak, and i empathise with the feeling of being disconnected from society and to enter back into the madness of the world and feel normal you need to medicate. I have self medicated for years, quite heavily until 6-7 years ago. I thought its about time i stopped living in fanatsy world and step back into reality only to find, reality is even more bizarre than the drug enduced one i had created for the majority of my "adult" life. Like you i try to see the good in all and believe that is the basis of everything, including evil and always try to give benefit of the doubt even if i end up doubting myself as a result. Checked your site and it does work but my swedish is non existant but from what i have read in your comments i will give it a go and add it to my never ending list of things i want to do." ever wonder about "fossil" fuels? i know its a crazy idea, but maybe they want more gasoline in the air so reptiloids can breath better? during corona i fell for the mindcontrol, and was inside my apartment a lot. going for walks, it felt like dust in my lungs from all the petrol in them. and going to buy groceries (instead of take and order pizza / kebab / hamburgers) i noticed all veggies had a weird smell. i looked it up, and its formaldehyde. no one has noticed this except for me and 1 reddit post on the entire internet. at LIDL they advertise "vegan" orange juice, which means theres not bits of bugs in them. so while they want us to eat bugs, they are secretly killing all farmers for things to grow in huge warehouse like laboratories. the veggies have no nutrients in them even if they have strong colours, thats why formaldehyde (which used to be outlawed a few years ago) is needed to conservate them. check immortal technique. he talks dirty a lot, but its only to fool ghetto kids into listening to him. he raps about many different political topics, sometimes just talks in his songs. try especially revolutionary 1 and 2 and the martyr (free on the waybackmachine). he talks about "the matrix of entrapment" in a middle passage song, its just a demo though. but search for "the middle passage" on youtube and youll get like 20 demo songs. hes too afraid to release it, thinking hed get killed then. he was actually gonna release it on the 20th anniversary of 9/11, but got deported to peru before just as he had printed the records. "but again the hidden knowledge is highjacked by the mainstream to stop us from growing or realising our potential" i dont go to the cinema often, not even once a year. but when i do, its the greatest experience. like rome said: "give them bread and circuses and they will never revolt". truth is hidden in massmedia, but if you get addicted to it, you get more lies than truth, or just become a blubbering beerdrinking weedsmoking fool. they need to add in some truth for the gullible naysayers to stay obedient, and truth is exciting, lies are boring, its just repetition all the time. thus the concept of thanatomania and erotomania, people seem more interested in how a person died than in their persona, and also that the massmedia talks about death and destruction in the guise of "knowledge", while it would otherwise not be allowed. erotomania is the other side of the coin - porn and lighter outfits for women, or more revealing, like tight jeans. they go hand in hand, since no one can live with just experiencing suffering through massmedia, so the people desensitized need porn to feel alive again. ive stopped with porn, and keep getting "matchmaking" sites on social media since then, they just wont give up. and i thought bitcoin ads were annoying... i even registered on one of the sites, and it said "you agree to talking to fake profiles". sigh, lol. AI is taking over... ok, replying in the wrong place. i dont think i make a difference to one or two, but to thousands or even millions. they even tried with a "swine flu" pandemic originating from sweden, but no one fell for it now. was just 1 news report then it was gone. for everything you do, you leave an imprint in the cosmic akashic library. i am just my universe, and you are part of it, but you are also part of your own ego illusion. in the older days, each yew needed to write a tanakh by himself. and each time a tanakh was written, it was interpreted by the person. same for bibles. those that knew how to read and write had a big leverage over history and mindcontrol. it was actually a swede, a goth, which translated the bible in 300 AD which all bibles are derived from. so the KJV is a load of bollocks. you need to get down to the source. like reading the tanakh via google translate. opens up many portals. as for me, i interprate genesis, that it was eve first and adam afterwards. and it was adam who took the apple by himself (when he was a baby / child), since he saw the copper dragon (snake) as a father figure. could just as well been an alien lifeform, from a ufo. but yes, they want the power to themselves, and want people to live in the shadows. "they use emotion for the many, and use reason for the few" - what göbbels said about the khazars. yes, i took it, and yes, im dumb. my favorite cafe was closed all the time because of "illness", so i bit the sour apple and took the vaccine, and then it was open as usual again. for 6 months it was horrible, i even got reported to the police. but for another 6 months, i lived in heaven, i didnt even need to drink coffee. but then i fucked up and asked the psychiatric system for help. i even got murder threats on facebook. my energy was real low. anyway, the corona vaccine is just as good as it is bad. "apple juice" sorry to burst your and hers bubble, but "apple juice" is pee. i remember tasting my own pee, and it tasted just like apple juice. i remember talking to some nurses about it, and they said it was true, from retirement homes, they take pee and fill it with 40% "freshener" and then sell it as apple juice. i remember always getting a bad stomache when i drank too much of it, because its pee. its toxic. our whole world is toxic. oh, in the corona vaccine is 36 sorts of snake poison, but thanks to the (amateurish) doctor ardis, we know its in all drinking water in the entire world. something else people havent noticed, but during the beginning of the corona vaccination (i took 2, first was saline solution) i smelled like a metal snake. yes, i put others in the centre as well. i have tibethan monk concentration. when i talk or when i write, every other sense disappears, and i am "one" with my throat chakra. can annoy some folks though, that i just go on and on, but most enjoy it. i see the unique in people, which others miss, some beauty or talent. rehabilitated a real fragile looking girl at fountain house (look them up! is there one near you?) but then i found out she was part of a gang before, and pro athlete, and computer game engineer! but i just inspired her with my ways, most just got stunned by my precense. but she wrote poems and draw the most amazing images. one poem was something like "big becomes little, and little becomes big", because she inspired me as well :) "never become an expert" some musicians say they always stop playing an instrument / synth, when they learned it. because then it becomes habit, and they become predictable; sellouts. julia (my first gf, was a khazarian) called me a "baby" while twittering her laughter when i brushed my teeth again, because i always approach everything from a new angle, even if its only brushing my teeth... yes, i consent to being poisoned. i used to eat heaps of junkfood, but thats over, i ate kebab for the first time in 6 months awhile ago. i consent (sorta, i can pick out them) to being poisoned with neuroleptics. i consent to people treating me like shit, and always see the good in them. i actually tried working out, but got too aggressive from it, every time someone treated me badly i cussed them out. i got tired of always being angry though. my dad was like that, either a sweetheart or yelling his lungs out, you could never predict his behaviour, what alcoholics are like... we are not made from carbon actually. thats the farmer physique, which is deficient in many ways. especially when they take the nutrients out of wheat flour and put it into everything... the atkins diet has proved that its possible to live (in superman physique and very good mental health) by only eating protein and fat. it even cures diabetes, and cancer too, since cancer cells thrive off of junkfood. bella wanted silicone breasts so she could think better. shes a reiki healer, and my greatest love. she used to get blue in the face since she thought too much, 100 dimensional thinking... what the illuminati really wants is a desolate planet with only sand, and a core of ice. they can use all that sand as a supercomputer. another conspiracy theory, hey! :) and they want that in the entire universe. theres a story about that actually. . bitchute 2023-01-13 yes, i find yugoslavians an amazing people. lots of superpowers, much discipline, and good humour. i did think before that they might be the oldest people on earth. i have a tatu on ancient kroatian, its only 3 letters in the whole alphabet, and its written in an outward spiral pattern. sounds quite old.. "demons are actually parasites that control every part of perceived existence in the host" demons work with their hands, they built all churches, look up seal of solomon. angels work with their minds. so theyre just as needed, both of them. as for parasites, yes, the worst one you get from having adrenochrome. you "fly" when you take it, a guy said, but then when you get withdrawals, an alien entity (reptiloid) comes and shoots his soul into your eye. thus "the black eye club". parasites can be a lot of things. if you eat only junkfood, you get parasites. if you drink a lot of alcohol, the water in your brain gets replaced with it. if you watch a lot of news, you get conditioned, so could be called a parasite as well. school is a parasite, indoctrinating you, so well, that you believe the world is like that. its called vampire entities anyway. they feed off the host on birthmarks. i got a triangle and romb of birthmarks in my face. sometimes they bleed, then the vampire entity has been there. i see a lot of people using powerwords, either when theyre excited or pissed off. one guy used it so much i just couldnt take it anymore. thats black magick. whatever you say manifests in some ways. even my mom is into it, she left me now since i told her to stop. in higher dimensions, there is no time. you can only do what is right. if you do wrong you start from the beginning. like a computergame. from my few strays into alcohol, i know now it turns the world into a computergame. why so many people are into it. but i prefer computergames to ruining my body and mind. it wont work. freedom truckers australia were 1 million in the capitol. they used microwaves on them, people started frying and going insane. its real hushed down, even on bitchute. but 1 million? and as weve seen with DEWs, there is absolutely nowhere to hide from agenda2025. live this year to the fullest, next year it will all be over. not really. in the beginning i got great adrenaline rushes from putting in several. but found no use for that, my tears basically watered themselves like hell. but i got back emotions - sadness, anger, and real joy (i always used to be everybodys clown, i pretended to be happy in a way for self defence). now i take too much i guess, so i just get calm. but i still cry from it sometimes. pleasure hasnt been reduced. coffee is a painkiller though, also great against anxiety. i buy the cheapest possible coffee at ICA, it lasts like a month a package (40kr - 4$), even if i make a huge cup every morning. "Is there nutrients left in any of our food these days?" if i didnt mention (to you) veggies and fruits are conserved with formaldehyde. it smells like petrol, so no one notices it, since we all have petrol fumes in our lungs from being outside. but the atkins diet is really the only good one. i know theres lots of shit in meat and eggs, and i remember being healthy for awhile and then finally buying the most expensive ham (prosciutti) and it tasted like faeces... the world is coming to an end, everything is poisoned to the n:th degrees. we have 1 year to live, then its agenda2025 with CBDC and that bullshit. theyre even starting with artificial wombs. just like out of the matrix. those kids will be starved from love, so theyll probably be put into a metaverse when they escape the womb, to only get into a larger pod. i have dreamt of the metaverse though, and it didnt seem that bad. one ended as a bad dream, but it also contained the word "etletlien", i even went to google translate in the dream, and it translated as "thank god the oxes came". tried it when i was awake, and it seems to be flemmish. i have valoonian roots, so its a real old word. seems to be to be the world of the "others", which ive always lived at. my home is etletlien :) the other dream, i lived underground, and got a magazine based on my dreams. sort of like pinterest. if you log in after youve slept, there will be pics related to your dreams. i dunno their algorithms, but theyre otherworldly. there are actually functioning quantum computers now, they have a processing power of 5000^2, while normal computers have a millionth of their processing power. theyre not even that expensive to build, everyone could have one. someone on slashdot said in 20 years a quantum computer will cost 1$ to produce, but will they give it to us? and the self buildings nanochip graphene is that machine... why they said it was a chip shortage som year ago... all chip manufacturers were making nanochips, except for bitcoin graphics cards too. there was one guy, dunno if hes alive anymore. he couldnt speak too much truths, since he knew hed get killed then. hes been in the game for a long time. among other things, he said there are human made tunnels on earth, that date back 2.8 billion years. so there have been many different sort of humanoid species over the years. immortal technique chimed in on this on instagram: the aliens tried first to make titanium robots, but titanium has a halflife of 75 years, so they had to go back often to make new ones, to get gold and diamonds. so instead they made "humans", what genesis is about. it sounds real weird when translated from the tanakh, like pieces are missing in the description. every now and then, theyd take their genome and degrade it, and make another "species" on earth. yugoslavians have among the oldest genes in them, even if all genes can be activated through meditation or working out or eating healthy for example. YHVH even came to north america long ago and called themselves gods, but the native americans just laughed at them. shame they all got killed later on, whites are sneaky. but the worst people have beige skin, even if they are called "white" as well. you get beige skin if you take too many drugs. even if your skin is black it will have a beige tone to it. in higher dimensions these people look orange, because they have acute c-vitamin deficiency, only living on "coke and cigs" or whatever. you must never have read poetry, or a scifi or fantasy book. of course we can interpret beyond 4d reality, beyond whats on tv in a 2d reality. i have been on the other side, without taking any drugs at all. it was this world, just different, with different playing rules. it was sort of like being high on lsd and beer at the same time. it was a wonderful world, but also scary. hard to learn the new rules for everything. actually, there were almost no concentrations camps anywhere. 28000 jews in total were killed, most with a shot to their head. my dad worked at tumba bruk, later crane AB. he "made" money. he talked to the higher ups. but they werent called rottschild, they were called crane in last name. he wined and dined and took drugs with them, every single one in the book. he never spoke much, was angry a lot or just took care of the family and the economy. but he saw some gruesome things. i can only guess all he went through, all he faught for. he was head chief of the union at work, knew every single workers sallary. unfortunately, he took his wisdom to his grave. would have loved to talk about conspiracy theories with him, we had many intellectual conversations around the dinner table, the times he didnt just freak out in anger. as for extra-humans... you get that from adrenochrome. there are reptiloids in the universe, who only get their lifeforce from blood sacrifices. all societies used to do blood sacrifice though. judaism is just an old surviving religion. back then, we were barbarians. its not something i miss or long for. the world was full of magick back then though, and it wasnt as miserable as they make it out. when electricity came in the 1800s, and with the steam engine in 1500s, magick was sorted out of society. ive made a few rune staves myself, and the runes hold immense power. why i recommend people to study ancient sweden, and interpreting runes. not many do though. Jews created the word racist it has no real meaning. It is just used to silence people who tell the truth about evil non european criminals. Is it racist that jews ran the slave trade then blamed all their crimes on white people to train blacks to hate them and want to harm them? thanks, another person said that too. i just think a lot, dont drink or hang with "buddies". am by myself a lot. i am also INTP with NI dominance, so my brain thinks for me. i can talk and write for hours on end. always come up with new things. i "learn" from just myself, but also others, if only a few words. many people in this video have taught me one or the other thing. something i didnt mention, is that the vaccine ruined my back. i get "anxiety" in it sometimes, so it retracts. so my length varies depending on mood. that ill never forgive them for. all major websites work together. it was so strange before, got banned on facebook from something i said on youtube. or banned on twitter from something i said on facebook. its not the bots, its the jews. they arent many, but they also control the entire internet. the backbone servers. when trying to register an account on some sites, it says "cloudflare needs to establish a safe connection". theyre allowing us to play on bitchute, but not too much. jews thrive on hatred, but dont want legitimate critique. yes, jews run bitchute as well, the servers are situated in the united kingdom, the head state of the illuminati. heres the only translation i have left: https://svenskadikter.com/Tanakh hmm, they seem to have tampered with the text. well, its a wiki engine site. this is what comes up when i try to translate the hebrew in google translate: 21 As an enemy of Jehovah God | Tardomraha ??? ???????? ????????? ???????? ????? ?????????? ???????? ???? ??????: 22 Like a son of Jehovah God | ??-??????? ?????-???? ????????? ?????? ??????? ???-????????: 23 As the Gentiles say, the man is the flesh of the flesh, and the flesh is of the flesh. 24 As such 25 And both of them are naked. so im an enemy of jehova? oh my! tardomraha? gives 0 hits on google. some strange google image results though... anyway, the tanakh doesnt say in genesis that women is subservient to man. that was added later. and my jewish girlfriend wasnt subservient to me, she was real strong and tough, but had her heart in the right place as well. what you say makes sense, since there is no war in ukraine. a guy on bitchute went over there with a camera, and there was no bloodshed, no tanks, no burning buildings. just fake journalist interviewing fake soldiers at the central station. there is no war, its all made up. ukraine and russia have a lot in common, theyre the largest wheat exporters in the world. most wheat is made into vodka, what they thrive on, they drink vodka instead of water. no western man can conquer russia though, its too cold, and they dont drink enough alcohol to manage it. deep state: look up davos (theyre having a new meeting in january this year). and young global leaders or what its called. its like 10000 of them, against a few whistle blowers. we have no chance. and yes, only 28000 jews were killed in WW2, and most with a shot to the head, there were no concentration camps. you could try viewing videos when logged out. you are probably shadowbanned. i was shadowbanned in comments before, so much they didnt even show up. yes, the vaccine poisons your body to the n:th degree. cant imagine many babies are being born at all since the vaccine came out, or just miscarriages. its a plague. a new zeeland doctor (who is now dead) said 20% died from the vaccines. thats absove 1 billion dead, and its real shushed down, even on bitchute. " I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things." Isaiah 45:7 From an outside observer. It looked to me like they set everything up to have people who oppose jewry worship hitler. Then take it away from them to destroy resistance networks and make them lose motivation. you are wrong, maybe. people save money in the bank. the bank then lends 910% more of that. it's completely upside down. so if you save 10,000 kroner, the bank has a million to lend. it's air... don't understand how society can work this way. if people took out their savings all the banks would go bankrupt. well said. pictures from airplanes show a non-spheric atmosphere. i actually asked why solar eclipses are bright if its cloudy on facebook. got banned from commenting on that discussion. aliens are here, ive seen them. also seen other supernatural beings, including an archangel in cloud form, and talked to him. theres been man-made caves since 2.8 billion years back. everyone is either a reptiloid or a grey. i saw it. ive even met a woman with a snake (demon/cat) eyes, she treated me well. and yes there is a timeline which ends/starts around Nissan 17 2025. So whatever they are going to do will have to be played out before that date. Take a look at the Paris Olympics which are the 33rd Olympics and the closing ceremony takes place on 8/11/2024 and that day has a pattern that matches exactly 9/11/2001. The Miami mall event was a field testing of a crowd control device. Frequencies can be used to affect people's emotional state. A device was used to create very strong fear emotions in the people in the mall. Everyone ran as fast as the could to get away from the fear. Those who are more imaginative hallucinated alien creatures to give substance to their fears. Some people who had firearms started to fire at their hallucinations. The massive police presence was to create a perimeter to stop everyone and make sure no mobile phone footage of people running away from nothing got out. It was set up to coincide with the Epstein document release, so that people would say it was just a distraction. It was really a field testing of new technology. The graffiti artist, and some others are paid for disinfo agents. Set up to confuse people as to what actually happened. . free palestine Bomberna som släpps över Gaza väger mellan 500 lb och 2000 lb. Om du tar i genomsnitt 1 000 lb. per bomb motsvarar det 150 000 ton höga explosiva ämnen. En typisk godstågsvagn väger 30 ton (60 000 lbs) tom och kan bära ytterligare 100 ton (200 000 lbs) lastade till totalt 130 ton (260 000 lbs) per vagn, vilket innebär ca. 1 153,84 godstågsvagnar som är fulla med höga sprängämnen har släppts på Gaza. Gazaremsan är 141 kvadratkilometer. Israel släpper amerikanska Mark 83-bomber över Gaza. Mark 83-bomben,- "Bombens nominella vikt är 1 000 pund (450 kg), även om dess faktiska vikt varierar mellan 985 pund (447 kg) och 1 030 pund (470 kg), beroende på tändningsalternativ,[1] och fenkonfiguration.[2] Mk 83 är ett strömlinjeformat stålhölje som innehåller 445 pund (202 kg) tritonalt högsprängämne. Källa- Wikipedia. Sprängradien för en 1 000 lb. Mark 83 bomb är 25 833, eller lite mer än en en halv hektar. Källa- https://apps.dtic.mil/sti/citations/ADA526142 Dessa bomber släpps i tätbefolkade stadsområden, så siffran 10 000 döda är en lögn. Det måste vara minst en kvarts miljon dödsfall hittills. . som jag nämnde ja. Men vi har aldrig sett något så brutalt och folkmordet i Gaza tidigare där vi har en av de mest kraftfulla och välutrustade militärmaskinerna på jorden som utför den metodiska och systematiska slakten av en obeväpnad och svältande civilbefolkning, varav 75 % är under 17-årsåldern, som har hållits under belägringsförhållanden under de senaste 18 åren, nu avsiktligt berövad matvatten, tak över huvudet, sanitet, som inte har någon försvarsmakt, ingen armé, inget flygvapen, inga riktiga vapen och hålls i plats med alla möjliga utrymningsvägar blockerade av en oframkomlig vägg med alla ingångar och existerar avstängda. Detta är den mest brutala, omänskliga, omoraliska och psykopatiska etniska rensningen av något folk som någonsin har inträffat i modern historia isreal har bombat 1000 moskéer i gaza, nu finns det bara 200 kvar . historien om när jag träffade ärkeängel gabriel historien är den att jag köpte 10 öl men drack bara 3 jag dricker inte öl... i mörkret i ensamheten på vintern... sen stänger jag av datorn och lägger mig den hade strulat... när jag legat i sängen ett tag ser jag en figur i mitt rum den svävar har guldrustning och reser sitt guldsvärd och frågar mig "blev det bättre nu tomas?" kollade upp det sen det var ärkeängel gabriel . ascendance last year i was in a coma for a week but this beats it so i had just showered with a faith in nature soap plenty all over my body my breathing was heavier slower i felt so so calm so at ease in my un-ease and it felt like... death ascendance i am ready take me home "the young man sitting in the old mans bar waiting for his time to die" - goo goo dolls . . i circa 2019 i only have a single laptop, no ipad. i used to have a landline, but i moved and it was to a more high tech place (ive got 100mbps for free :). i dont eat ecological, because its the same shit in everything. drink coffee once or twice a day, have dip in my mouth. and... i have forgiven everyone and everything. theres no hate in my heart anymore. oh, no cellphone and no smartphone. my mom visits me twice a week, thats it. i have no irl friends, none that would visit anyway. im fine as it is, since im a taurus, and they are easily entertained. have a smoke of a cigarillo now and then. eat "farmers" diet, lots of margarine, cheeze, sandwiches, yoghurt, mince based foods. and im content as it is. i dont need much. listen to music and surf all day, have a walk in the mornings. i am actually retired since i was 23 years old (im 40 now), because of mental illness. there was a social worker who called me and ask "...do you really want to talk to me?" i made her more than happy, so she gave me pre-retirement until retired for year (2035). i have never had a properly paid job, it was close, i was gonna be a boss at a place. but ive worked for free at 4 different places. . the emerald tablets by thoth the atlantean mycket visdom "One step thou has gained on the long pathway upward, infinite now is the mountain of Light. Each step thou taketh but heightens the mountain; all of thy progress but lengthens the goal." . droger tar man för att känna mindre eller känna mer för mig är det ingetdera, kanske... jag har hur mycket energi som helst oavsett droger eller inte men jag är också väldigt lugn inombords jag tar snus för att få bort all min ocd som jag själv skapat jag förstörde öronen som tonåring sen senare skulle jag göra musik? ahapp... så det är främst för att känna mindre ibland blir jag ledsen när jag tagit snus men det är glädjetårar men nu mår jag så bra :) så inga tårar =*) ahapp, en glädjetår! ocd'n är helt förfärlig i alla fall förut tänkte jag "rape the world" och då gick det sämre för trump... psykiatrin säger "dina tankar är inte verkliga" men det är just vad de är de påverkar men skulle vara sämre att säga det eller göra en låt av det eller kanske blir katharsis då... om det fanns en drog som tog bort ångest skulle jag gärna hänga på =*) men morfin piller oxascand och massa grejer funkar inte på mig... kanske typ 1 gång i månaden men sen blir jag resistant :( glad att du finns till <3 att du kan skriva fina dikter och göra fina photoshops! <3 =*) en annan grej med ocd'n var att jag tänkte illa om allt och alla hela tiden sen verkade det som om de visst allt om mig kunde säga de mest träffande elaka saker men de har ju tränat... och som om människor "känner av" ocd'n samma när jag runkade och tänkte på nån ibland hörde jag deras röst... hej, en ny dikt =*) tog en stor prilla på morgonen och som jag drömde inatt! har tagit bort smärtpillrena det var de som förstörde min mage hade ångest halva dan men bättre än förut ska bara minska clozapine också sen är jag frisk hoppas jag =*) . I WONT BACK DOWN so they put me on a new stomache med again this ones against bleeding ulcers hey my poo has had a strange red colour to it cant argue with that except the medications shatters my mind ...and, you get the ulcers when you take too many painkillers so why didnt they reduce the painkillers? and why are they changing meds behind my back all the fucking time? so why are they doing this? do they have no morals? they do have morals twisted ones but still morals but you see i am in the global resistance movement against corona and the new world order as they know absolutely everything about me all the time they know this too but im gonna remove the med tomorrow i wont back down https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvlTJrNJ5lA . everyone you meet is your mirror i see the world as beauty, as fantastical, magical. "a loving person lives in a loving world. a hateful person lives in a hateful world. everyone you meet is your mirror". so then we add "an intelligent person lives in a wise world. a stupid person lives in a dumb world"? :) fundamentalists are of all camps. what about the italian mafia anyway? they sure have fucked up the world a lot. it is they who primarely do drug and body trafficking. and the south american mafia - its a whole continent! they also do blood sacrifice. it is said the mexican mafia, if you get caught, will pressure your family for 150$ million or they will sell your body on the black market. same for christians who hate on jews, which is mostly the clientelle here, they are slaves to jews and dont realize it (AND theyre circumsized, AND theyre probably vaccinated or at least shedded, AND they eat junkfood, AND they take in MSM, AND they have chinese slave labour smartphones). i know in a lot of churches there are blood sacrifices. if you look around, really get to know people, youll find out most are satanists, not christians. and they love their thriller movies, they love death and murder. its especially large in sweden "the thriller wonder" of books, usually books only sold in 3000 copies, with thrillers its million of copies instead. id say anyone who drinks alcohol is a satanist, because you get your first spiritual awakening when you drink, and think you talk to "god", but its just the spirit of the alcohol (they used to be called "spirits" after all), so their religion is alcoholism, sadly enough. me ive been drunk once or twice, but it wasnt for me. turning to an idiot the more you drink, i remember my dad in the old days, he looked like a blubbering fool when he was drunk, and it was often, so i retreated to my room and my computer and CDs and notebooks. . was nothing wrong with hitler, they invaded him when he wanted to break free from the rottschildian monetary system. marxism / socialism / feudalism / police state on the other hand, thats the future we are headed in, where a select few control everyone and owns almost everything, and give the people a few scraps every now and then to make them obedient. much worse than any country in the world. china is already there... Disease X will likely be activated by 5G. Time to get out of cities and other high-density regions, folks. Those who have received the C-shots containing nano-tech and graphene compounds will be most susceptible. . taiwan får en demokratiskt vald president Taiwan’s president has been chosen in a free and fair democratic election. William Lai and his DPP have won over Beijing’s preferred candidate. With its ethnically Chinese population, Taiwan’s people have voted against Xi Jinping. Today is a victory for democracy. With Xi experiencing a perfect economic storm at home (real estate crisis, banking crisis, local government debt crisis, and youth employment collapse), . What is under the Getty? (The root of their evil) “The Museum has at least 6 basement levels that are larger than the area of the entire museum campus. $12 billion to build they say... The bunker is one mile deep, with 6 major levels, and several sub levels as large as a city each. This has connection to all of LA, Orange, and SB counties. It connects via high speed tube train to Catalina Island to the west, and Edwards AFB, China Lake, Tonapah, etc, etc etc.... Children go in but they don't come out, unless they are kids that are on TV, like mousekateers. EVERY child star goes under this place to have fluids taken. The lowest level is where the most horrible Satanic rituals take place, they make even a Satanist squeamish. UCLA, USC, FBI, city hall, music center, Disneyland, etc, etc, all connected by tunnels with trams and elevators. Club 33 in Disneyland, the Mark Taper Forum in LA. Almost every old building has tunnels that eventually connect. These tunnels can be very old, or made recently. Playboy mansion, Lookout mtn, (Jared Leto's house) Brad Pitt's house, and on, and on... the Skirbal center in LA.. how hard is this to prove, they can't hide all the entrances. Only the Government has the power to do that!! Get the picture yet? IT IS THE GOVERNMENT DOING THIS.” https://twitter.com/SDK_President/status/1746304660401512686 . anxiety 1-3 råkade hitta de 2 andra, de var visst borttagna på svenskadikter, men det går ju att få tillbaks de där... thanks i do get lots of anxiety and then you "regret" things (swedish "ångest" aka "ångra" "regret" in swedish) or think things in the future wont happen or that you should forget all about your dreams its like a 100 demons attacking your whole soul body being mind heart its not easy... . ingen har ju inte ångest längre ångest utan ångest ångest utan ångest med ångest . "i have anxiety now" is either met with a null response or confusion because they have never felt my pain . sexual education https://twitter.com/rhu_red/status/1678279042775109632 children find porn from a very early age now i found my dads pornomags when i was 7 thus ended my sexual education parents need to talk to kids about sexuality but most my parents did was work a lot and drink a lot they barely talked to me about anything... . nearing the end of la belle epoque @->->- well an early goodbye tracey even if you are far away =*( i feel worse than ever before the stomache med ruined me i have so much anxiety even when i woke up on the plus side i think bella was here? on christmas or the day after they wouldnt let her in but i heard no words from her "acquaintance?" maybe it was her maybe it was bella <3 =*) out of sync, as usual will she be at my funeral? who will die first? but my heart doesnt beat her for anymore, even if she asked to never let go of her paw my heart doesnt beat at all my bloodpressure was 70/50 some time ago which is quite low but im sure its been lower when my vision because i couldnt close my eyes faded to grey anyway merry christmas tracey i hope you have a good one <3 another end of the world i hope its not true but i dont think it will ever get better . watch your... [en/se] originalet, något kortare, av lao tzu, han som filosoferade kring "tao", min favoritförfattare, har taoismens grundvalar tatuerade på ryggen :) watch y0ur body it becomes sensations watch your sensations they become feelings watch your feelings they become words watch your words they become action watch your actions they become habits watch your habits they become character watch your character it becomes destiny watch your destiny it becomes legend , akta dig för din kropp den ger sinnesintryck akta dig för dina sinnesintryck det blir känslor akta dig för dina känslor de blir ord akta dig för dina ord de blir handling akta dig för din handling det blir dina vanor akta dig för dina vanor det blir din karaktär akta dig för din karaktär det blir ditt öde akta dig för ditt öde det blir din saga . its not about ego its about laziness we buy cheap cars cheap junkfood cheap jeans and cheap netflix movies and series we want it we crave it and thats what corrupting the planet not the elite were in this together and unfortunately most people are idiots . naturligt jag har massa trauman det är naturligt att ha trauman jag har psykos det är naturligt att ha psykos jag är ledsen det är naturligt att vara ledsen . same bird the right wing and the left wing is part of the same bird and its the centre, the green which controls everything make the red and blue fight amongst themselves over petty ordeals . har du har du sett filmen? nej men jag har läst boken har du hört låten? nej men jag har läst titeln har du hört nyheten? ja men bara rubriken har du älskat mig bella? ja men på avstånd . i wish i was like bella i wish i was like bella she does makesup for 3 hours per day and showers 3 hours per day it would be useful in closed psychiatric care to make the days go by and besides people treat you better if you look good and smell good i wish i was like bella . tid och de säger att livet är kort... 60 sekunder per minut 60 minuter per timma 86 400 sekunder per dag 31 miljoner sekunder per år 2 miljarder sekunder på 75 år . styr innan jag började med legala droger (snus, cig, kaffe) så såg jag aliens ibland så klart det finns andra livsformer i universum de vägleder oss på en högre nivå än till och med WHO som vi alla borde veta... jorden styr oss månen styr oss solen styr oss . kåt/rädd ja konstigt jag kan inte skilja på kåt och rädd jag vet att det låter hel mysko men det är som ångest alla känslorna på en gång och man är förväntasfull och spänd över hur den andra ska ta emot en som när ida kom ut ur duschen med bara underkläder glömmer aldrig hennes ansiktsuttrck då men inget hände jag bytte kläder och stack iväg klockan 3 på natten mitt i ingenstans med 53 kronor på kortet bussresan kostade 52 hon sa "du går bort dig" och jag ville säga men gjorde det ej "tack för allt förlåt för allt" det ordnade sig på något vis som när hon kramade om mig när vi möttes utanför tågstationen "jag visste inte ens att du skulle komma! vilket flyt du har! sen är det så när andra år kåta på mig så blir jag rädd kanske inte rädd men blyg rädd för framtiden som emma hon hade så vassa tänder tänk på om tänkte på en sig avsugning sen vad skulle hända då? jag har nästan aldrig druckit alkohol så jag har inte fått den där befrielsen som behövs i dagens politiskt korrekta samhälle... . ovanlig vaccin biverkning om du kollar på pfizers biverkningslista så listar den i princip vad som helst 1300 biverkningar jag är hyperlaxativ alltså jag reagerar snabbt på stimulus vid andra dosen (första var sockerlösning de kör med sånt för att förvirra folk) skulle man "vila i 20 minuter" eller nåt efter injektionen jag fick otroligt ont i ryggen efter en minut och steg upp och det försvann men efter det fick jag "ångest" i ryggen ibland när jag var ute den "drog" ihop sig liksom blev flera centimeter kortare sen drogs den ut igen när jag mådde bra jag hade hoppat några år innan så ryggen var skadad om du inte visste det är det ett grafen självbyggande nanochip i vaccinet (din kropp sänder ut en unik MAC address) och också 36 sorters sökande ormgift som gör jobbet tycker allt vatten även det man duschar i luktar orm själv luktar jag som en metallorm på grund av grafenet . våldtäkt låt oss gå direkt till källan. ja, inte smussla undan det. som sagt skulle inte familjen förstå, och inte frugan heller. jo. i alla fall. scenario: jag är 7 år. min granne ringer. och frågar: vill du bada? jag sa ja, som jag alltid sa till honom, har aldrig sagt nej en enda gång i hela mitt liv till honom. men har inte träffat honom sen jag började 7:an i skolan. i alla fall. vi klär av oss nakna, i badrummet som är på nedre våningen. med stängd dörr (låst? vem vet..). går i badkaret på varsin sida. efter ett tag händer något konstigt. min granne tittar nedåt (det här har jag insett först nu) och mot mig, och ja, det är konstigt. sen skiter jag på mig. så vi går upp ur badkaret. sen vad det avklarat. aldrig mer händer igen. förutom att det gjorde det. ibland, när min granne och jag var ensamma, så sket jag på mig. som när vi var på en hel ö, med hans familj. då mitt i ingenstans där, skiter jag på mig. jag har alltid trott att det var för att jag var nervös inför att börja ettan i skolan. men. nä. min granne våldtog mig. flera gånger. telekinesiskt. alltså. som telepatiskt. fast man måste va nära. men det var ändå som succubus, som incubus. världen är väldigt fucked up. på väldigt många sätt. min mor har senare sagt att jag var hans sistahandsval. hans hora, helt enkelt. han hade flera dussin vänner. som han ringde till. för att leka. han ringde alltid mig sist. fast jag bodde alldeles mittemot. det var väl bara att hälsa på mig? inte så enkelt. näpp. min granne var en skitstövel. som var cool. det har tagit mig väldigt lång tid att inse detta. runka framför en 7-åring? fy in i helvetes jävlars demoners skithåla! och istället, som jag gjort för min andra bloggvän, att försökte skydda henne, göra hennes liv bättre. så ville min granne, dra mig ner i skiten också. han sa också en gång, vet inte hur gammal jag var då "om du börjar gråta igen får du gå hem". och hemma ville jag ju inte va och uttråkad, så jag slutade gråta. i TRETTIO ÅR!!!!! jag har fortfarande väldigt svårt för det. om jag missbrukar massa saker blir det enklare. men aldrig utan. en till sak är, det tog mig 10 år innan jag blev som min pappa. jo, tafsade en tjej på rumpan. hennes brorsa råkade gå i min klass. han slog mig rakt i ansiktet. min pappa tyckte om att tafsa mig på rumpan. han gjorde det till slutet. för att lära mig en läxa. föräldrar: var inte smart mot era barn. men han kom från söder. knivsöder. där är det antingen knulla eller mörda som gäller. fitta på kuken, eller kniv i magen, inget annat. så jag förstår. jag menar. han tafsade på mig när jag kom hem från kristianstad, fast jag var 30 då. inte vid matbordet. men han har gjort så min mor såg, hon gjorde ingenting, fast jag skällde ut honom. aldrig pratade om det. aldrig någonting. så till denna dag. jag är 38 nu. jag har haft svårt för att sova sen första gången han tafsade på mig. det blev svårare och svårare. jag har alltid sovit med tänt lyse, ibland hur ljust som helst. det värsta var att när jag la mig för att somna, så kom han in och tafsade. för att förstöra mina drömmar. för jag "förstörde" hans drömmar, om att få knulla min mor problemfritt under alla år. men hon har sagt att han var dålig i sängen, så det var snarare hans problem än mitt. men men, han förstörde mitt liv, och det är fortfarande förstört. en enda gång. någonsin. jag hade katatonisk dödsförtvivlan med aggro och suicid. mina föräldrar hade grillat. så jag går ut. äter på nån sekund. jag säger, hur mycket jag än orkar, jag som inte orkar någonsin då, för det här har hänt hundratals gånger vid det här laget: "förlåt att jag äter så snabbt". min far svarar, "du äter som ett djur!". jag svarar lugnt och sansat: "du kan dricka mycket alkohol". han hade druckit igår. och han drack den dagen. ännu mer. jag vet också att han tafsade på mig efter att jag somnat, när han läst godnattsagor. säkert dussin gånger. om inte hundratals. har nästintill inget minne av den tiden. men jag hade många tidningar. när den där friidrottaren kom ut att han blev våldtagen av sin tränare, sa pappa "han hittar på". ja, om han hade läst den boken, skulle han kanske blivit en bättre människa. men det är inte vad alkoholister vill. dom vill ha roligt 24/7. ingen alkoholist har problem. de är problemet. de lever i sin totala lalavärld. alla deras landerövringar är ett FUCKING skämt. de är alkoholister. ingen annat. någonsin. och de kommer brinna 4 miljarder år i helvetet. smaka på det ni! oj, det här landade gamla gossiga minnen till liv. har bara varit vaken en halvtimma, men har katatoni. går och lägger mig igen. Music mind VIP Horribelt. Jeflea Norma, Diana. Ja Evelyn Ja, det är ofattbart vad som hände med den här poeten, men jag tror att det inte är ett unikt fall i Sverige, Trevligt av honom att väcka opinionen. Evelyn Falk Möller Jag tror de kommer att brinna i eoner. Det är inga människor som gör så mot barn - de är monster. Det går inte att applodera den här texten, det förstår du säkert, men jag ska bokmärka den för din enorma inre styrkas skull. . familjen (bok) [se/en] {14 dikter} det svåraste med att göra böcker är vilken dikt som ska komma vart. jag orkade efter ett tag inte engagera mig med det, det krävs för mycket tankekraft :( boken ska läsas som en helhet ändå. kommer printas i 4 exemplar tror jag <3 INDEX 1 pappa 2 sara 3 stjärnfall 4 hej jag är emma 5 jag är katt ja det är jag 6 bästa vännen igen 7 du har mitt hjärta sa karin 8 förälder 9 heyoka 10 kära föräldrar 11 lura 12 mina barns första ord 13 rhiannonkirineuf 14 tessan du är den enda 1 CURT han levde som ett mysterium och dog som ett mysterium . 2 SARA I allt handlar om dig allt har alltid handlat om dig II du skrattar inte åt mina skämt och jag skrattar inte åt dina . 3 STJÄRNFALL 2 minuter innan midnatt klev jag ut tog en cigg bad till månen sen föll en stjärna ja ja då föddes idas tredje barn 23/24 oktober en libra / scorpio cusp . 4 HEJ JAG ÄR EMMA de lugna stegen från ett löv som korsar gatan ljudet av en gammal telefon känslan av att min vinterkropp tinar i vårsolen längtan från mitt hjärta att känna någonting igen för någon någonstans igen snälla jag behöver det jag gråter nu så mitt hjärta är igång för första gången men jag känner inte kärlek bara sorg varma glada tårar kanske är det så att bli gammal man saknar saker människor händelser platser en glad återkommelse det finns inget hat det finns ingen likgiltighet det finns bara kärlek för allting alla överallt hej jag är emma jag är för det mesta ledsen men kan lätt göra människor glada omså bara för att försvara mig själv jag föredrar att va för mig själv emma betyder hemma men också universum och universum är mitt hem mitt hem är mitt universum jag tycker om det här hoppas du kikar förbi nån gång och förkovrar dig i min värld jag tycker om det här i alla fall hoppas du också gör det . 5 JAG ÄR KATT JA DET ÄR JAG jag skulle vara enklare att förstå om jag sa att jag var en katt det är nu 17:00 och jag åt precis middag innan, sen lunchtid hade jag slumrat till rymdmusik jag vet inte om det var del av spellistan men helt plötsligt kom en 5 minuters reklamfilm för ett turistställe som hade sin egna syntetiska sjö och korallrev och biosfär... . 6 BÄSTA VÄN IGEN grattis tidig födelsedagshälsning kristian du föddes 1 månad innan mig och var före mig i tankarna läste fantasy böcker när jag läste FOTO och illustrerad vetenskap du var min bästa vän från ungefär 6 års ålder till sexan i skolan vi skiftade ifrån varandra och jag insåg nyligen att jag blev som dina bröder men du blev inte det hörde på slashdot att du va datorsäkerhetsexpert så du kan rädda mig från hackingen men man får inte alltid det man vill och jag tror att du hatar mig vet inte riktigt tänker du på mig ibland? jag var rädd för att träffa dig i paranoian förut på din facebook sida ser du pumpad ut du simmade ju medans jag åt mer och mer du tyckte om min familj och din familj va som den va 2 boxar storebrorsor och en blond lillasyster det här är till dig iaf BFF bästa vänner för evigt på något sätt där ute kristian jan sörensen du var allt för mig när det inte va så mycket med mig jag utvecklades senare men jag har gjort konst musik poesi jag har gjort mitt avtryck på världen och jag är säker att du gör storkonster varje dag i den digitala sfären och på natten drömmer du om fantasy världar som du lärt dig om i alla dessa böcker signerat din vän din bästa vän tomas emma johansson . 7 DU HAR MITT HJÄRTA SA KARIN så jag försökte ta självmord igen 8 år sen försöket innan men jag har tänkt på att avsluta mitt liv sen jag var 11 år gammal när jag började bli mobbad när pappa försökte lära mig en läxa i matematik jo vad betyder det? både min blodssyster som jag känner mest och min pappa drack och dricker mycket min mamma är en dum blondin utan de tillräknade stora tuttarna och jag är stolt över henne för det hon är över 70 och full av glad energi hon skiter helt i politik varför hon kom in på konstfack och det är jag också stolt över henne för så jag kommer leva länge till min pappa blev 66 eller 67 år och jag förmodar att sara kommer leva länge också jo både charles bukowski och timothy leary blev uppemot 70 år jag förmodar att min mor menade att jag är en vatten varelse som henne hon är en hippie älskar sina blommor sara tycker om att promenera mycket och cykla precis som sin kille vilket hon verkar ha gjort slut med nu? de hade vart tillsammans så nära varandra sen 1997 och konstigt nog där jag bor nu finns en granne som är precis som de TVILLING jag kom på det genom att analysera hans personlighet en del ser honom väl som korkad eftersom han är latino med en ganska stark dialekt och han tänker alltid igenom saker innan han öppnar munnen jag kommer ihåg när jag sa till sara några gånger KOMMER DU IHÅG NÄR... etc etc med ett stort flin hon blir tyst tänkande tillbaka hennes ögon blir bara mörkare och mörkare och hon säger sen några sekunder senare i en tvär ton NEJ DET GÖR JAG INTE oavsett allt jag älskar dig sara jag älskar hela världen den andra sidan av att ha en borderline diagnos . 8 FÖRÄLDER hej jag har 2 barn rhiannon och kirin med bella och tessan sibel har 2 barn som har rött hår (saffron och saffrina kallar jag de) pojken ser ut som mig bara mer melankolisk och flickan ser precis ut som sara båda föräldrarna har svart hår idas 2 första barn har rött hår båda föräldrarna har svart jo har inte tänkt på de på länge så tänkte jag skulle styra upp etern lite jag har mer barn än det här jo... 10, som spåkarlen sa . 9 HEYOKA Hej Jag är Heyoka Jag kan kontrollera vinden Vilket jag inte direkt förstår Det var den första superkraften jag hittade Så min anti-form är Skorpion Men mina vänner är Libra och Häst och Aries och Tvilling Alla är allting till någon grad Jag är neutral/good men det ändras ibland fort fort fort till chaotic/good sen blir det bara värre och värre Som en naturkatastrof Jag kan kontrollera det själv Jag har inte tusen tankar i huvudet För det mesta ingenting Så jag är första elementet Shuddha Prajnyana Mina barn är titandrakar Jag vet inte hur de kommer bli Ungefär Det finns konst om titandrakar förmodar jag Låt se Ok Wow De heter visst Kintsukoroi Kintsugi betyder att man läker med guld Bella & Tessan # Born 2020-02~01-03 (2020-02-02 Vattuman) Gabriella ''Babybel'' Kirin Irazsche (Bellas dotter) [party animal, reiki healer] (conceived 2019-11-02~04) {stark, pratglad ibland, god lyssnare} Libra Titandrake (Brunt lockigt hår) a kirin is a mythological animal mix between dragon dog and horse (Concieved 27 february 2019) # Born 2019-09~13-15 (Jungfru) Rhiannon ''Habibi'' Angelino Johansson (Tessans son) [drug dealer, spelar på hästar] (concieved 2019-06-14~16) {vis vacker klok lugn} Kräfta Titandrake (rött hår)[[When was rhiannon and kirin born?]] (häst, fågel) (Libra) (Concieved 27 february 2019) Julia # Kommer inte ihåg namnet. Det var germanskt och unisex. Vet inte mer. Andra # Vet inte. . 10 KÄRA FÖRÄLDRAR jag önskar att ni inte hade druckit och jobbat så mycket men det gör inget jag förlåter er eran son, tomas . 11 LURA du kan lura alla lilla svaga roliga karin förutom rami förutom sara förutom bella förutom tessan förutom tomas förutom sofia du kan lura alla förutom oss . 12 MINA BARNS FÖRSTA ORD Tomas: Förlåt att jag tänker illa om er ibland. Rhiannon & Kirin: Det gör inget, vi har varit med om det mesta. Och om nån behandlar oss illa behöver det inte va ditt fel. Det behöver inte va ditt fel. . 13 RHIANNONKIRINEUF vad är skillnaden mellan sanningar och lögner? jag vet inte jag vet inte för jag är ingen lögnare bortom dualismen finns vetenskapsfrekvens när 1 sak kan motsäga en annan men båda är 110% rätt ändå hinduiska gudar är antingen venusblå för kreativiteten eller hawkingstrålningavgrunds svart för destruktiviteten men de är inte demoner eller änglar de är kvantfysik de är plasma 3 i en vätska gas materia som rhiannon och kirin och neuf treenigheten för alltid för evigt för all tid bara vi 3 titandrakarna med bästa kattvännen det är stort att älska det är större att bli älskad av en katt . 14 TESSAN DU ÄR DEN ENDA det finns krossade själar där ute vissa av de förintar andra men de förstör sig själva mest för de blev pajade för länge sen och de använder vilken drog som helst för att glömma men traumat försvinner inte dessa är de så kallade värsta människorna i hela världen jag vet för jag är 1 av de tessan är 1 av de många människor är det men jag vet att tessan är den enda så det spelar ingen roll . . . INDEX 1 dad 2 sara 3 starfall 4 hi i am emma 5 i am cat yes i am 6 bff again 7 dear parents 8 heyoka 9 my childrens first words 10 parent 11 rhiannonkirineuf 12 tessan you are the only one 13 trick 14 you have my heart said karin 1 CURT he lived like a mystery and died like a mystery . 2 SARA everything is about you everything has always been about you II you dont laugh at my jokes and i dont laugh at yours , 3 STARFALL 2 minutes before midnight i stepped outside and lit a cigarette prayed to the moon and then a star fell yes yes then idas third baby was born 23/24 october a perfect libra scorpio cusp . 4 HI I AM EMMA the gentle steps of a leaf crossing the street the sounds of an oldskool mobile phone the feeling of my winter body thawing in the spring sun the urge for my heart to feel something again for someone somewhere again please i need it i cry now so my heart is alive for the very first time but i dont feel love only sadness happy sadness maybe thats what its like to grow old to miss things people happenings places a joyful remembrance there is no hate there is no indifference there is only love for everything everyone everywhere hi my name is emma emma johansson im mostly sad i can make people happy but its only a defence mechanism i prefer being by myself emma means home but also universe the universe is my home my home is my universe i like it here hope you sneak by sometime feel my world i like it anyway hope you do too . 5 I AM CAT YES I AM things would explain themselves better if i said i was a cat =^_^= its now 5 o clock and i just ate dinner before, since noon, id been dozing off to space ambient i dont know if it was apart of the playlist but all a sudden there was like a 5 min ad for this tourist place which had its own synthetic ocean and coral reef biosphere... . 6 BFF AGAIN congratulations kristian you were born 1 month before me and was before me in mental growth you read fantasy books when i read photo and science magazines you were my best friend from about six years old until sixth grade we shifted away fron eachother and i realized recently i turned into your brothers but you didnt heard on slashdot that you were a data security expect so you could save me from all the hacking i get online and on my computer but you cant always get what you want and i think that you hate me do you think of me sometimes? i was afraid to meet you in the paranoia before on your facebook page you look pumped up you practiced swimming before while i ate just more and more you liked my family and your family was what it was 2 brothers that were professional boxers and a blonde little sister this is to you anyway BFF best friends forever somehow out there kristian jan sörensen you were everything to me when there wasnt much about me i developed later but i have made a lot of art music poetry i have made my dent on the world and i am sure you do wonders every day in the digital sphere and dream about those fantasy books you probably still read signed your friend your best friend tomas emma johansson . 7 DEAR PARENTS i wish you hadnt drunk and worked so much but it doesnt matter i forgive you your son, tomas . 8 HEYOKA hi i am heyoka i can control the wind which is something i do not directly understand it was the first superpower i found out about so my anti form is scorpio but my friends are libra and sagitarius and aries and gemini everyone is everything to some degree i am neutral/good but it sometimes changes quickly to chaotic/good then it gets worse and worse like a natural disaster i can control it myself i dont have a thousand thoughts in my head most of the time nothing so i am the first element shuddha prajnyana my children are titandragons i do not what they will grow up on average i do they are called kintukoroi kintsugi means healing with gold Bella & Tessan # Born 2020-02~01-03 (2020-02-02 Aquarius) Gabriella ''Babybel'' Kirin Irazsche (Bellas daughter) [party animal, reiki healer] (conceived 2019-11-02~04) {strong, talkative sometimes, good listener} Libra Titandragon (brown curly hair) a kirin is a mythological animal mix between dragon dog and horse (Concieved 27 february 2019) # Born 2019-09~13-15 (Virgo) Rhiannon ''Habibi'' Angelino Johansson (Tessans son) [drug dealer, bets on horses] (concieved 2019-06-14~16) {Wise beautiful calm} Cancer Titandragon (red hår) (horse, bird) (Libra) (Concieved 27 february 2019) * Julia. Donät remember the name. It was German and unisex. Don't know more. Others. * Don't know . 9 MY CHILDRENS FIRST WORDS Tomas Sofia: I'm sorry i think badly about you, even if it's only seldomly, I don't want to do it. But it happens, like when I have despair. Rhiannon and Kirin: It's OK, we've been through a lot. And just because something bad happens to us, it doesn't have to be your fault. It doesn't have to be your fault. . 10 PARENT hi i have 2 kids rhiannon and kirin with bella and tessan sibel has 2 kids who have red hair (saffron and saffrina i call them) the boy looks like me just sadder and the girl looks just like sara both parents have black hair idas first 2 kids have red hair both parents have black anyway, i havent thought much of them lately so figured i should stir up the ether some i have more kids than this hey... 10, as the soothsayer said . 11 RHIANNONKIRINEUF whats the difference between truth and lies? i dont know i dont know because i am not a liar beyond dualism is scientific frequency when 1 thing can negate another but they are still 110% true hindu gods are either venus blue for creativity or hawking radiation black for destructivity but they are not demons or angels they are quantum physics they are plasma 3 in 1 liquid gas materia like rhiannon and kirin and neuf the trinity forever for always for all time just us 3 titandragons with the best cat friend it is great to love it is greater to have been loved by a cat . 12 TESSAN YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE there are broken people out there some of them break other people but they break themselves the most because they got broken long ago and they use any drug to forget but it still doesnt pass these are the worst so called people in the world i know im one of them tessan is one of them a lot of people are one of them but i know tessan is the one so it doesnt matter . 13 TRICK you can fool everyone little weak happy karin except rami except sara except bella except tessan except tomas except sofia you can fool everyone except us . 14 so i tried to kill myself again has been 8 years since the last time but ive thought about suicide since i was 11 years old when i started to get bullied when dad wanted to teach me a lesson in mathematics anyway what does that mean? both my bloodsister that i know the most and my dad drank and drink a lot my mom is a dumb blonde without the big tits and im proud of her for that shes completely unphased by politics and im proud of her for that so i will live a long time my dad lived until he was 66/67 years and i guess sara will live long hey both charles bukowski and timothy leary died in their 70s i guess my mom meant i am a water being like her shes a flower hippie sara likes walking a lot and biking a lot just like her guy which shes just broke up with i think? they had been togethter so tight-knit since 1997 and strangely enough at the housing and also several years earlier theres been a guy whos the same sign as sara and fredrik GEMINI i just figured it out from his personality some probably see him as stupid since hes latino with an accent and he always thinks things through i remember telling sara a few times REMEMBER WHEN... so and so with a big smile on my face she goes quiet remininscing her vision turning darker and darker and then a few secs later she says in a concentrated tone NO I DONT no matter what i love you sara i love the entire world the bright side of being borderline . känner jag borstar tänderna när jag känner för det jag duschar när jag känner för det jag lagar vilken mat jag vill när jag känner för det jag äter vad jag vill när jag känner för det julia ringer upp mig och frågar om jag vill knulla när hon känner för det tessan tar med sina vänner när hon känner för det bella healer mig när jag inte känner för det när de känner för det så fantiserar drömmen och grevinnan om mig när de känner för det vilket de inte gör längre men jag är en nunna nu så det gör inget gör va du känner för de e enkelt "i never think of doing something i just do it" - ani difranco . det här är inte en bra dikt om fräknar watching my arms watching my freckles my wounds except that freckles are reversed they are proof of damage you have inflicted in others and thus you get the green curse like a troll like a leper they shine up in electrum a green mixed metal bedazzles everyone until they know . la familia min pappa söp med hela stockholm en av min syrror har knarkat med största rockstjärnorna min morsa jobbade i precis hela botkyrka med mera en maffia boss sa att jag "vänstrade med fel folk" i och med att jag var ihop med bella . goodnight sweet tracey <3 :) well an early goodnight wish to you sweet tracey i know i can say that im calm only to get a nervous breakdown a second later or be happy when im sad or feel nothing when im happy but i have my hopes for this new place just like at the last place theres someone yelling like a madman to and fro but im mad too same same just different and i feel quite at ease . mercury and fungal poisoning for mercury people on bitchute have been recommending vitamin b-12 and zinc it cleans the system if you have it in your teeth though theres not much to do they replace it with plastic or enamel mostly nowadays but it costs a lot look up c-60 as well its a coal atom with 60 free electrons so it can catch up any metal with that many free radicals poisoning your system you have to be careful to store it in darkness and only take it in darkness as it turns to free radicals the 60 electrons easily so it can turn rancid but b12 and zinc should work for fungal you can stop with bread and any grains really its hard to do as junkfood tastes good but youll turn much stronger wiser and more alive its what those who built the pyramids and stonehenge used only fat and proteins need a strong heart though to not take affect but ive noticed "coconut milk" (doesnt exist, its only coconut cream) if i eat it directly hurts my heart but literally "drinking" 40% cream does not also eating sallads but they put really powerful poisons in all fresh veggies nowadays, so theres almost no choice left (if it says "vegan" now on your orange juice and you dont know why its because it doesnt contain bugs ironically ie its grown in "lab"-like warehouses with no sunlight so the veggies degrade easily ive noticed both bitter substances in some veggies while formaldehyde in others) and meat is really purple they put red colour gases in the packages to make it red which also makes it degrade easily so you need to grow it yourself but then they chemtrail the sky and poison the water the endtimes are near i cant believe no one has noticed that the water we drink and shower in tastes like snake poison. . 3 deadly sins - thanatomania, erotomania, draconianism flera finns här: https://svenskadikter.com/Neoncast sajten kanske inte visar korrekt innehåll, men du har den här texten iaf... 3 deadly sins - thanatomania, erotomania, draconianism - on the philosophy of fear, sex & gold so. well go over 3 subjects today: the fiction genre meant to scare us, what we all know of and love to love when we cant make love, and a particular error in the stock market - which recieves half of the attention. lets start with the fear portion. the most successfull in this type of mind control, is without a doubt, "the midsomer murders". i remember people who watched this series with their kids back in the days. i mean, its a cute mood throughout, and ugly "natural" actors, with an officer who somehow automagically figures out everything near the end, although the flawed manuscript makes it near impossible for the viewer to do so. then he has a housewife, who sucks at doing what shes supposed to do. so we have both violence and misogyni in a neat little package, which speaks to the majority. this is fucked up. then we have the opposite. which is also thrilling, and the majority might be cute as well. i havent seen many pornos with ugly people, or showing signs of having sexually transmitted diseases on their genders or bodies. or ones who are disfigured, or just look vastly different from the average pornstar. masturbation material, neatly packaged. no matter how clean it looks, and no matter how good camera equipment they use, its still fucked up. the problem with this, is if you have real life experience with death and prostitution, you wouldnt think its cute, you wouldnt be "thrilled", and you wouldnt be intrigued to know "more" about it. although, i do know some folks, who get beyond thrilled - that is - sexually excited, from blood and misery. id favour them into the minority of the watchers though. aside from the normal porn pages, or readily accessable to everyone with an internet connection - aka google images. we also have new sites popping up, featuring zoophilia, shit and piss fetishes, and even autoerotic suicides. yes, these are quite easy to find in todays connected world, though i wont help you with the site names. goatse and tubgirl is nothing in comparison, to the degeneracy you can easily find nowadays. the only missing thing really, is the qanon stuff, aka blood sacrifice, but i bet theyll get to that, eventually - information, wants, after all - to be free! i mean, i have fallen for the trap too. why look at vanilla intercourse, when you can watch double penetration? why a threesome when you can see 20 people having an orgy? why enjoy two ordinary people fucking, when you can watch a small asian lady getting destroyed by big black dude? or why not quadruple penetration on a midget, with black guys filling up her every orifice - and spooging, shitting and pissing all over her simultaneously - until she dies? watch 1000 different livestreams or as a metaverse game on the topic, in 360 degree 64k at 128bit HDR colour with 20.8 binaural ASMR sound and 3 other more real than reality senses on fuckedupexclusive.xyz for only 1 cent a decade! thats where were heading. the problem with fear and sex mongering (and materialism too), is that, over time, it always has to go to a higher level. this is separate from well-written prose / poetry and sitcoms for example. all that talented writers have to do, is to have the capability of using a clever collection of a varied wordage, and a flowing language. and as for the comedy genre, there are shows that have run for decades, and in each episode, they make some jokes, and thats it? not so in the lower realms of entertainment. while most jokes, at least when you hear them the first time, makes most people laugh - you cant do the same thing twice. so you have to use your ingenuity as a writer or improvisationist. with hedonism, it doesnt work like this. i mean, people die, and people fuck - theres really not much to it. so you have to make it more extreme, more fucked up, more disgusting, more debatable - all the time. then, the third part, also seemingly thrilling and cute. i mean, a significant portion of the worlds population frequent betting sites, and who doesnt enjoy all the fairytales about rich people on TV? so, the thrill, news media knows all about this. they have so called gatekeepers, who decide what is news and what isnt. first they talked about millions of dollars, now its gone to billions, even trillions. and recently, when ive delved deeper into bitchute, ive heard talk about quadrillions, quintillions and perhaps sextillions. now, a million is feasable, at least in swedish currency. i mean, if one of your relatives die, as they have done often, since the vaccine death shots, then you might inherit quite a lot of money. also, a car is a major investment, for one, costing some 100k of crona. of note is that one in my big family died, and some other woman inherited the majority - then she died as well. so ive gotten on the lines of 300 000 bucks, though in our currency, so its more like 40 000 USD. still, the aim for a million doesnt seem impossible. as we iterate though - what about a billion? a thousand million dollars? are you joking? who, in their right mind, can wrap their head around a sum like this? then, news broke that apple is now worth 1 trillion dollars. ok, they make shiny things, theres quite a lot of women, women like shiny things, so they buy em, and make guys buy them too. makes sense, no? then, the underground family of the pasteurs evidently have a worth of 1½ quadrillion dollars. it doesnt stop here though. america, being the poorest country in the world, have a national debt of half a quintillion dollars. as the US only has 1/30:th of the worlds population, and theres some 300 other countries - that might mean the whole globes worth is near sextillions - when you count in things like owning land, trees, oil wells, and mines of various sorts. now, that mentioned debt - how did this come to be? well, its called real estate - the main reason for the nullties stock crash. its a buzzword in sweden as well. everyone wants to live in central stockholm, because thats where the majority of jobs are. the thing is, the building business speed doesnt match the ever increasing demand. this is done intentionally though, to drive up house prices. youll hear news sources these days, who even tell of the average price, per square meter, of apartments in our capital, and how it goes up and down. so what did people, especially in the USA, do? well, they give you a place to live, with a mortage - a loan, attached to it. you pay a fraction of the houses total worth per month. now, everything is fine and dandy so far. what happened then, in the lala-world which is called the stock exchange - is that people sold these loans for a higher price - and somehow, that worked. i mean, to the average person, this makes no sense whatsoever. but, as more people want to live in the major cities, statistics show, that theyre willing to pay a higher and higher price, over time, for this privilege. take for example the house my parents bought in the seventies. they had to put in a deposit of 30 000 SEK, 1/10:th of its total worth. they never payed the house off though, and, at least before corona hit, the house was worth several millions. so, over time, they got more than a 100-fold increase in worth. i mean, its money out of nothing. from thin air. the modern days alchemy. like mining diamonds on venus. so, evidently, brokers sold a house loan, that for example was worth 100 000 $, so many times, over and over - around a thousand, actually - in the computer AI based automatic exchange, that after a decade, that loan had garnered a select few, a hundred million dollars. so, they have a housing business worth 400 trillion dollars in america - an amazingly huge number. but they did some wicked black magic with it, and now theyve somehow made 400 quadrillion of it instead. the ordinary citizens though, have to pay for this feast. even more interesting, is the strange news from china, about ghost towns. this happens in sweden too, to some degree - you can actually speculate on apartments before theyve even started building them. so you buy a couple, wait a year or two, and make millions of SEK in profit. evidently, to prop up the economy, the chinese government have ordered the building of an enormous amount of skyscrapers, which no one wants or can live in - because of the high costs, for example. as is the nature of the housing economy though, these items just increase in value each year. so, theres a family out there who might own sextillions of dollars. with this, they can control everything - as we have now seen with corona. it seems both the chance of surviving the "virus" - above 99.9%, is the same chance someone with power, fame, influence, or a normie maintaining the universes average stupidity - will sell out to the illuminati. so, whatever you do: 1 dont think too much about your money or things. give to second hand stores of what you dont care for anymore. youll eventually realize, that you can survive on, and be just as happy, with less petty bullshit. 2 dudes and misses, stop with the fucked up nudie binging. i mean, try staying in bed longer in the morning and let your imagination run wild, jack off in the shower, go out in the real world, and meet actual people - fall in love. anything, anything, beyond fueling this fucked up business - as its only real purpose is to keep you alone and in misery. 3 dont listen to audiobooks, nor read books, nor watch shows, movies, news casts, magazines nor animes portraying violence. if you still do, id go so far as to recommending you to damage yourself or others. then youll see just how much youll "enjoy" this disgustingly perverted candycoated socially accepted cheap thrill. 4 and if it hasnt been said enough already: refuse the vaxx, and voluntarily avoid people as much as possible (no, 6 feet wont do) to save yourself from shedding. . max peezay - rent mjöl i påsen (english translation) översatte för något år sen. den släpptes redan 2012, han var före sin tid... corona har nu gjort hans predikament verklighet, det är en riktig mardröm i kina nu, det har kommit under radarn om du inte hört. det ska komma i hela världen, om vi inte kämpar nothing to hide yeah aye jah jah i have a little pitch listen are you sick and tired like the rest of us folks of running away from violence, terrorists and other scum of the earth are you even afraid of leaving your own apartment are you sick and tired like the rest of us folks of running away from violence, terrorists and other scum of the earth are you even afraid of leaving your own apartment let me introduce a business model a gizmo that can solve all material questions crime: national and international any time where active violence is used my product removes outpocketing protects your savings better than banking prohibits cheating with social security grocery stores, queues, or cash in the registry illegal immigration, border control we'll no longer have to hide between two walls it's got so many uses the list just goes on and on forget criminal law once and for all my product calls all the needed parties every single rapist gets caught their incapability of cheating the system means they won't even try are you sick and tired like the rest of us folks of running away from violence, terrorists and other scum of the earth are you even afraid of leaving your own apartment are you sick and tired like the rest of us folks of running away from violence, terrorists and other scum of the earth are you even afraid of leaving your own apartment we can solve all problem areas a new paradigm where everyone's included all you need is a tiny chip such a nanoscopic incision you won't notice a thing we can solve all problem areas a new paradigm where everyone's included all you need is a tiny chip such a nanoscopic incision you won't notice a thing if you have nothing to hide then you can chill with your 9-5 nothing to hide chill with your 9-5 loss of integrity is a conspiracy theory if you have nothing to hide then you can chill with your 9-5 let me tell you what's trendy about this chip medical journal, ID, criminal record GPS, keys, travel document savings account, VISA, loose change, credit card speed-o-meter, driver's license, alcohol lock sounds incredible, but it's already possible are you convinced, this is just the beginning anything else is fake news ask yourself how safe our world is your health, because the chip checks it looks up iron, pressure, bloodsugar can even warn you before an embolism this product saves lives can't come up with anything detrimental this will pack the christmas store shelves already by year 2012 we can solve all problem areas a new paradigm where everyone's included all you need is a tiny chip such a nanoscopic incision you won't notice a thing we can solve all problem areas a new paradigm where everyone's included all you need is a tiny chip with such a nanoscopic incision you won't notice a thing if you have nothing to hide then you can chill with your 9-5 nothing to hide chill with your 9-5 loss of integrity is a conspiracy theory nothing to hide chill with your 9-5 chill chill your 9-5 remember this is the first time it gets mentioned remember this is the first time it gets mentioned just vote, you don't need any comprehension remember this is the first time it gets mentioned just vote, you don't need any comprehension max peezay 2012 dubby dub what's up special blend nani . braindead "I’ve noticed people who got vaccinated ‘are’ literally going brain dead" - bitchute comment i am unfortunately like this i moved to a new place and the power connections were in the centre of the apartment i got anxiety from just being near it... so much electricity my vmat2 gene is completely off i can lie in bed for hours and not have a single thought or only get OCD thoughts going round and around.. i still dont watch tv or read the newspapers so im not completely gone yet it seems "wellness" is paired with this braindeadness its "clinically proven" that "take a deep breath and think of here and now" heals people well, then... a single newscast or magazine story wrecks them i think people have been brainwashed for a long time before the death vaccine were equally lethal vaccines going overseas? lots of vaccines and you still get sick all this drinking booze and smoking pot zeroes your head until you only think dirty thoughts ive tried a few beers at the pub and got disgusted with the thoughts i got the worlds population has been mentally dead for a long time this just was the epicentre of it it was inevitable the natural "evolution" without alcohol we would be much better off as a species i follow a norwegian guy on facebook, he "delights" into only being able to take in 1 sentence at a time and that he can drink "15" beers theres a lot of people like that out there more than you think without alcohol old people dont get wrinkles and their sunk in eyes are from alcohol taking over the brain passing the blood/brain barrier and "melting" the omega 3 fatty acids i remember one woman in particular, shes a party girl.. last i saw her in a pub (hey, had a kebab) her eyes were like pin needles so much alcohol in the brain even if shes a good woman "it wobbles" as you say in swedish "det skvalpar"... . karin jo - vävde grävde och sprang min morsas artistnamn. jag "skuggskrev" den här tillsammans med henne. vävde grävde och sprang 700 i min armé trädgården blev fin utav mitt slit men jag tycker inte om det för det slet sönder mina ben tomas har blivit friskare efter självmordsförsöket men jag tycker inte om det för han kan inte röra sina ben blommor betyder allt för mig jag har fått massa blomvaser av min dotter sara jag plockar alltid blommor på sommaren jag hittade 2 långstjälkade blommor de var lite gula upptill men det rensade jag bort vi får se vid nästan sommar om de har lyckats annars skulle de ha fryst sönder vi får se om tomas finns tills nästa sommar om han har lyckats gå igen annars fryser fötterna sönder men min armé av frivävar skyddar honom jag köpte en amaryllis för 50kr på ica de kostar mycket mer nu när de är utslagna det är 3 stänglar vilket är ovanligt jag hade så dålig kondition efter att ha fött min son men sen gick jag sen sprang jag i nerförsbackar sen vann jag ett lopp med en stor pokal den är nu borta och min styrka i benet är också det efter en knäledsoperation mina vävar är mina endorfiner de jag får kraft utav innan gnällde jag mest för att få ut min energi men tomas pushade på mig i kreativitens vägnar jag hälsade på min son efter andra självmordsförsöket och blev arg av hur livslös han var och sa du fick inte din pappas hjärta du fick mitt jag är övertygad om att han kommer leva länge min bästa väninna sa till mig en gång du ger inte upp jag är där nere många gånger men då kommer jag upp på en gång och det är mörkret som ger mig energi och inspiration till mina vävar min son är inte som jag på det sättet han hade 8 timmars ångest förut ofta jag drack en del när jag gnällde för att få slut på skiten men det funkade inte så bra men tomas efter att jag blev anföllen sa vi gör böcker tillsammans det blev ett dussin av de mest varierade konstverken jag är väldigt stolt över tomas han kan så mycket och gör konst av det så man kan relatera annars var och är han mest introvert tycker om att spendera stor tid på sin dator med att skapa konst musik och poesi men ändå pratglad när stunden är rätt och får en att skratta utan att man anade det mycket likt min man men under tonåren så gjorde han improversade föreläsningar som jag och min man blev tvungna att lyssna på sen tog jag med honom till second handar så han inte skulle va så mycket ensam på sitt rum men som nörden han faktiskt är köpte han bara cd skivor och stereo utrustning min man var både snäll och arg i ett han var kräfta och tog väl hand om ekonomin när jag inte hade ett jobb eller gick på nya spännande utbildningar han hjälpte mig också med hushållssysslor när han inte drack så mycket längre efter att han dog trodde jag att grannarna skulle vara snälla mot mig men jag fick den kalla handen också från min son i flera års tid som hade börjat röka och när jag flyttade ner till min dotter i malmö ville hon inte veta av mig även fast hon tjatat i 6 år på att jag skulle komma dit . . . KARIN JO - WEAVED DUG AND RAN the garden turned pretty from my hard work but i dont like it since it teared apart my legs tomas has gotten healthier than ever since his latest suicide attempt but i dont like it since he cant move his legs flowers mean everything to me i have gotten lots of flower vase gifts frmo my daughter sara i always pick flowers in summertime i found 2 longstemmed flowers they were a little brown on top but i removed that well see at next summer if they have survived otherwise theyd frozen to death lets so if tomas is still with me next summer if he succeeds in walking again otherwise his feet will freeze to death but my army of freeweaves protects him i bought an amaryllis for 50 kronor at ICA they cost more now when theyve burst out mine had 3 stems which is unusual i was so unfit after id birthed tomas so first i walked then i ran downhill then i won a race i had a big trophy but its gone now so is also the strength in my leg after a kneecap surgery my weaves are my endorphines i get power frmo them before i whined a lot because i hated my job but tomas pushed me to the way of creativity instead i visited my son some days after his second suicide attempt and i got angry that he just didnt do anything anymore so i said "you didnt get your father heart you got mine" i am convinced that he will live a long time my best ladyfriend told me "you just dont give up" im down there a lot but then i get up in a jiffy and its the darkness which gives me energy and inspiration for my weaves my son isnt like that he often had 8 hour long anxiety marathons before i drank some when i whined before to make the shit stop but it didnt work too well but tomas after i got attacked and robbed by my stalker said "lets make books together" it turned to a dozen of the most varied art i am really proud of tomas he knows so much and makes art about it so one can relate otherwise he mostly was and is introvert likes spending time alone at his computer making art music and poetry but hes still real talkative when the moment is given and makes you laugh from nowhere very similar to my late husband but during the teenage years it was bothersome since he wasnt so creative then so he had long improvised essays to me and my husband then i took him to second hands in his 20s so he wouldnt be so lonely in his room so much but like the nerd he is he was only interested in CDs and stereo equipment my husband was both kindhearted and easy to anger in one he was a cancer and took care of the economy when i didnt have an occupation and i was allowed to study a lot later on in many different subjects he also helped with housework later on when he didnt drink so much anymore after he passed away i thought that the neighbors would treat me well but i got the cold shoulder also from my son for many years when he smoked cigarettes and when i moved down to my daughter in southern sweden she didnt want me there eventhough shed nagged about me moving to her for 6 long years goodbye miss D in all honesty you were one of the few which kept me on this site for others i make long comments and they reply with only a few words feels so empty but it burns in your throat from a feeling of having to express things you are a great person great poet great political writer and you have inspired me in all 3 disciplines , fiber optic cables vs bronze wiring "the PUSH for ALL HOMES to be connected to FIBER-OPTICS is an AID to their Internet Control. Ky. governor said EVERY HOME WILL BE PROVIDED NET SERVICE. The selling point to convincing people "HIGH SPEED INTERNET" faster & better Broad-band service. My current service ALREADY says it provides the up to date High Speed Internet thru my landline-huh! What they are NOT TELLING FOLKS their LANDLINE SERVICE IS INTERRUPTED--when the POWER GOES OUT LANDLINES WOULD STILL WORK USING NON-PORTABLE PHONES-Now that the fiber optics is laid LANDLINES CANNOT CALL OUT DURING BLACKOUTS/SHUT-DOWN OF POWER. My opinion they don't want folks calling each other to give their family friends a heads up during "crisis issues" (invasions). In my area White Americans are laying the Wire (in DITCHES no less) and people wearing cloth around their HEADS are setting the Post and Connecting the wires. Totally out of the ordinary especially for my neck of the woods (within spitting distance of Daniel Boone Forest) rarely see black folk here let alone mus lim folk. Somethin funny somewhere. Sincerely a granny. i used a landline until a few years ago i was into smartphones for awhile to be "up to date" on the latest but i got so sick from them so i switched to bronze wire instead sometimes things get lost in translation like the power outage at facebook 3-4 october 2021 i heard many ghoststories about that like they couldnt get into their offices and power centres since they needed a facebook connection on their phones to open the doors same for new houses the "key" is your smartphone and smartphones run out of battery fast in their aim to be "new" they forget a lot about the old technology which often worked better in many ways as for muslim or black people installing fiber optic cable... you need special knowledge and i dont think its well paid and you risk your livelyhood with the great electrical circumference coming from them like 5g towers i stopped with landline when i had to move they said it was because of the sewage needing fixing but its still as stinky there now i only borrow a phone from a friend if i really need to id rather meet people face to face but so many are brainwashed its hard to keep a friend when its impossible to talk to them about anything thats outside tv and newspapers . "The vaccinated seem to have been reduced to animal behaviour" indeed, they seem robotic even i have been in the psychiatric system since 2006 so i have seen a lot basically anyone who took the vaccine or has been shedded is part of the psychiatric system now its a strange strange world... alcoholics are the same way or potsmokers obviously they cant even communicate without using "power words" all the time and they are really oversensitive to any critique, like they have a demon inside controlling their mind very few have their souls intact mine is gone now i shower it with coffee ive thought ive had it bad but maybe its the opposite i still have a free mind but its dwindling . förstår inte grejen med det här tjatet om här och nu jag är oxe så jag är for real min värld är skittråkig och jag tar knappt några legala droger förutom kaffe och snus men innan jag var 36 drack jag inte ens kaffe eller te och snus började jag med senare jag förlitade mig på en bondediet mycket smör och ost och mjölk och blodapelsinjuice, och köttfärsrätter det verkar som om "här och nu" är en billig sorts 12-stegs programmet ala tjatar om det och det är som ett "mirakelmedel" "ta ett djupt andetag och tänk på här och nu" så löser sig allt... det är totalt bullshit placebo funkar ju så om människor är så hjärntvättade att några ord kan få de att må bra kan några ord på tv eller dagstidningen få de att må som skit här och nu är bara skit det tilltalar alkoholister om något som lever i sin lala värld och alla är ju alkisar mm droger i dagens samhälle . the zone and so i forgot time and space i do that when im in the zone which i used to be a lot before miss blues admires that in me she didnt say it directly though since shes got a guy whos good for something... . blogg 2023-11-15 13:13 well what was i gonna say? im in closed psychiatric care i dont sleep anymore so thats bad ive fucked myself up bad i took too much dip until i didnt have any except calm but the calm means no thoughts at all now i just stare into the ceiling since i cant close my eyes they just flicker im listening to immortal technique revolutionary vol 1 anyway i want to tell them they have been really professional at st:göran and at m67 huddinge . rytm i dikt från en kommentar på poeten salvadors korta tanke jag skriver ju poetry slam / kåserier i poetry slam är det styrkan i flowet i kåserier är det det oväntade roliga kloka intressanta det sägs att shakespeare skrev som hästar löper jag har gjort många låtar där det låter som ett tåg men också hästrytt vi läser ju alla dikter på olika sätt ibland märker jag inte förrän jag läser om att det är rim men det är bättre än nödrim du vet när man hör på en dålig sång som man aldrig hört förut och på nåt sätt "hör" att det ska rimma och gissar rätt på rimmet då är det dåligt... . grattis på fars dag min pappa var komplex han var kräfta så han skyddade familjen från allt ont men ett tag bodde jag i kristianstad (istället för tumba) och han kallade hem mig efter att jag hade dåliga hyresvärdar men han gnällde och skällde på så mycket efteråt slog aldrig nån av oss dock han var väldigt bra på ekonomi de köpte ett radhus för 30000 kr (10% av värdet) år 1979 som sen blev värt flera miljoner jag är inte bitter på honom men han vann alltid alla argument men han sa det omvända mot slutet "du vinner alltid alla argument" för jag gjorde honom så arg att han bara gick därifrån det var för smågrejer också ett som jag starkt kommer ihåg han höll på att renovera taket vilket tog en evighet för han var inte så macho faktiskt även om det verkar så så han kommer in i köket jag hade gjort klart maten och fruktsalladen och vispat grädden och höll på att skära sallad då skriker han "DET ÄR ETT SALLADSBLAD PÅ GOLVET!!!" det slutade med att han gick därifrån innan han sa "JAG ÄLDRE ÄN DIG!!!" det slutade med att jag bara var på mitt rum och lyssnade på musik hela dagarna jag slutade helt att laga mat då han sa till en psykiatriker de få gånger han följde med "jag förstår inte varför tomas är så lat" det sitter djupt... men som sagt jag är inte bitter min pappa var en otrolig människa mångfacetterad . äpplen och päron äpplen och päron päron och äpplen äpplen och päron päron och äpplen äpplen och päron päron och äpplen äpplen och päron päron och äpplen 5 applåder . kärleken är allt kärlek är att se sig själv i sin nästa kärleken är allt kärleken är det bästa kärleken är det enda som riktigt finns som både att tårar och blod rinns kärlek är hat uppochner kärlek är att öka sin sfär till fler kärlek är till och med likgiltighet när man inte orkar med kärlek är faktiskt mord att hämnas sin andras förlorade kärlek kanske sin egen mor öga för öga är ett bra sätt att leva istället för att matas med silverskedar muslimer som nu får så mycket hat är de bästa människorna och de lagar god mat tro inte på skandalblaskorna detta är inte från mig tomt prat 6 applåder . that isreal palestine thingie im completely unphased by the palestine isreal thingie i remember downloading a movie the pianist instead of the piano and it was just a poor jew doing nothing the whole movie thats when i took a stance but no im mostly unphased people are people most people are normal people these people dont kill people they take care of people their family their coworkers theyre good people the mass media people theyre the true murderers remember how we had NINETEEN YEARS of "muslims are bad people" (before corona took over) and people swallowed the bait or just got racist at anyone now its either ukraine or russia i know some russians they are good people and i fell in love with an ukrainian woman for a split second and wrote about that before so hey people are people people are good people the massmedia system isnt populated by good people though so dont trust them with your emotions with how you live your life with how you write poetry dont you get it? the MSM feeds off of your misery theyre parasites . blogg 15:00 2023-11-04 (la belle epoque) well if miss mom is gonna break my network card she can come like once a month with dip ill try to make books with her though and good happenstance elgiganten had price lowered computers only 1900 sek so shell buy 2, one for herself as google says "im feeling lucky" this dip though i cant really relate to people anymore since ive been alone so much (half a year now) like do i really need them? what do i get off of them? so it didnt work with a new person but i shoulda seen the warning signs we talked a lot though so im happy for that saved some days out of my life from not being boring internet works again but its flaky youtube doesnt stream anyway with people i just want a relationship with them not that i give and they give less back seems i can handle mobile phones maybe not feeling so terrible after talking but really should i do something (talk on the phone) to not get something out of it? and feel like shit afterwards? thats just masochism and im not one bella ruined me that way bella ruined me that way i wish that people called me out of the blue or messaged me on whatever site now its only 1 way i give and give and get some in return but never just selfless out of the blue like bella like bella... . guiding light ja nu har jag inte tänkt på döden på en hel vecka och inte speciellt mycket på en månad börjar dagen med en stark svart kaffe och sen en till till lunchen kaffe är otroligt jo det som händer nu är att jag märker andra som är suicidala och jag försöker ta hand om de "and all the pain will be worthwhile" som buck 65 säger det är slut med att va random nu vill jag hjälpa människor att va deras guiding light Music mind Det är en vacker tanke att vilja hjälpa andra och det måste vara skönt att inte ha tänkt på döden på ett tag. Lustverket Kul att du är tebax! Ja vi behöver ljusa vägen för varann ännu mera... . and so and so it turned dark from lively to not a single spark and so the sun went down and bowed its crimson crown and so the ambience turned mute and the world is at its most beaute and so here by myself i extract a book from a shelf and so i get lost in mine and others worlds a time of dragons and swords and so a neighborhood cat asks for food and presence to which i am glad to give my sixpence and so i shoot some noobs for hours on end with fingers tense in that video game which to outsiders makes no sense and so i go to bed at noon to live by moonlight i swear and swoon . en korrespondens från min sida (självporträtt) vi pratade i 2-3 dar, sen tog det slut verkar det som :( men många ord :) klokt :) <3 jag blev mobbad i 8 år från 4:an till början av tredje på gymnasiet men annars var det inte jobbigt... men kommer ihåg i slutet på 9:an satt bredvid dörren ut till korridoren så jag kunde undvika alla... jag går till nästa lektion och en rödhårig (som mig) kille har följt mig och säger som läraren sa "KLART MINUS!" han var weird... annars hade jag en bästa vän i ungefär ett decennium vi pratade inte mycket lekte bara sen har jag mest skapat min misery av mig själv inte utanpå grejer men min morsa har skrikit till mig 2 gånger (dagen efter att jag haft ångest i 8 timmar) "DU FÖRSTÖR ALLT" så då blev jag mer perfektionistisk och min pappa skällde mycket... och min syrra var dum några enstaka gånger men såg aldrig vid henne... men hade trauma av henne ändå hennes förolämpningar satte djupa spår... min morsa var som min psykiska sjukdom jag BLIR en skorpion av henne kaotisk weird... men ja jag var väldigt känslig förut var förstörd första dagen av mobbningen och de bara fortsatte klockan är snart fyra och det börjar bli mörkt vet inte hur man överlever vintern kaffet funkar fortfarande fick ångest vilade 5 minuter nu är jag tillbaka :) . kommer ihåg en gång speciellt. lyssnade på sia's demo till "diamonds" (det riktiga demot på youtube, inte det som är på skiva). höll på timmar och timmar att tolka. sen blir jag stolt och lägger upp det på videon men sen fick jag ångest av det typ 1 timma senare och tog bort texten... mina depressioner "följs" inte direkt det är bara att jag överanstränger mig sen får jag inte mycket input från "atmosfären" till mig, inte längre i alla fall är supertråkig när jag vilar nu, bara samma saker som går runt och runt... men, men! att lägga upp något i ett stort forum gör något med mig klarar inte av specifikt diskussionsforum på grund av det jag blev kallad "tomas, du är så melodramatisk" när jag var på ett litet forum och sa adjö därifrån de skrattade åt mig och la upp memes... ja, har varit nedtrampad mycket genom livet på fountain house stockholm också de hade amfetamin i ena kaffetermosen dynamo är annorlunda det är ett matriarkat så alla får komma till tals när det är en konversation om något människopyramiden finns inte där :) . "bipolär (typ 1)" ja, om du säger det så... belöningssystemet förstörs av neuroleptika. det blockar dopamin så man vill ha ÄNNU mer roligt... bara för att känna nåt. provade lithium en gång, kunde spela upp 7 låtar samtidigt och ta in allt, men jag kände ju inget (mer inget än någonsin förr) så det funkade inte på mig. jag är mest bara uttråkad... det är också en skada från dataspelstiden. inget är så adrenalinfyllt som first person shooters... man måste hitta den där high:en på andra sätt sen, vilket inte alltid funkar så bra. . faktiskt, nu när jag tänker på det. var jag väl ganska psykotisk ofta förut. men jag "skapade" det själv. kommer ihåg innan psykakuten, jag brukade få så stark ångest att jag fick varma adrenalinchocker, bara av saker jag sagt på nätet, att jag var tvungen att lägga mig i sängen för att slappna av. samma med en oväntad söt kommentar från någon, sängliggning i gladhet. (men det var aldrig nån som sa att det inte är bra att ta bort, att jag förstör allt det vackra jag skapat. om jag hade haft nån sån kunde säga mig i mitt liv, skulle jag kanske varit framgångsrik...) men sen, jag skapade mycket, sen tog jag bort det. hela konton med hundratals bilder och hundratals dikter... sen förolämpade jag många, och fick ångest av deras svar, eller icke svar. men det var så att säga av främst ljus- och näringsbrist. brukade gå upp 12 på natten och gå och lägga mig vid lunchtid. jag blev mer och mer kort stubin ju mer jag inte åt föräldrarnas mat, förutom pappas köttbullar på en ostmacka med massa ketchup och lättålagom, fick inte i mig alla animosyror... . min farsa kommer från underklassen de var i "barnrikehus" typ socialen eller nåt han är född 47 min mor... hennes mor ägde skog men var infernaliskt elak men hon tyckte om att odla blommor allahanda frukter och rotfrukter... så hon va bra på det sättet... morfar var född träl han träffade alva på nån fest de legade sen blev hon gravid och de fick gifta sig hon var dum mot honom också fast han smygrökte! haha cigarrer tom... och säkert starkare saker tillsammans med min mor jo de legade med varandra också han dog när jag var 7 år... mor grät i ett helt år jag fick vad som kan beskrivas en psykos pånyttfödelse blev klärvojant men sen började skolan där man fick höra att man inte va nåt så la klärvojansen på hyllan... . ah, spännande. som jag vet nu knarkar de mest som har mest pengar... men de håller igång volvo villa vovve ändå, fast de tar hur mycket som helst. grevinnan är så, många jag träffat har vart stormrika och supertuffa tjejer. och överklass har ett sånt sätt.. svårt att förklara. de kan mycket om konst och kultur, och pratar på riktigt, inte powerwords. de står över allt :) <3 som dig. du klarar dig! :) <3 . "att jag utbildat mig" ja, jag har studerat gastronomi på högskolan :) min pappa brukade säga "du lärde dig så mycket där". sen gnällde han så mycket på min matlagning, så jag bara låg i sängen och lyssnade på musik till slut. men, men! 8 år senare gjorde jag en rätt, som bella sagt jag kunnit vinna kock-vm med :) drycken till är muskovadosocker med limejuice, så gott, sockret smakar laktris :) "har föräldrar som bryr sig om mig" ja det gör de. min pappa har varit död sen länge nu, men är glad att jag inte får hans vredesutbrott längre. men de lagade alltid 2 mål mat om dagen, vi åkte mycket på utflykter. jag flyttade hemifrån i 30-års åldern... "och att jag egentligen är en sån som fullföljer planer" ja, jag har gjort mina böcker. ska publicera en ny, "trollskog", i några exemplar bara. . ah autist jag har försökt hävda min autism några gånger för psykiatrin de säger nej till det däremot du verkar ganska normal också normal som på mitt sätt :) <3 du vet när man har så där svart / mörkt runt ögonen? jag finner det så jävla attraktivt! lol trodde kurt cobain använde smink nej det var drogmissbruk jag är konstig :( haha jag har som mest haft rött runt ögonen hade inte ätit på nån månad jo åt men väldigt lite rörde mycket på mig också flera timmar per dag jag var vampyr då men drack inte blod cybervampyr med superkrafter livet var som ett dataspel och jag hade tröttnat på spel då föredrar en tråkig verklighet <3 . måste visst skriva mer. har varit överviktig största delen av mitt liv, så är inte som taniga missbrukare. har legat med 2 kvinnor, så är inte en casanova även om alla tror att jag legat med alla bara för att jag kramar om alla tjejer på jobbet varje dag (överdrift). ficklampor förmodar jag att de om tycker att titta in i. jag tittade rakt in i solen ett tag, när jag var utan datorer, och sa nåt powerword. sprutnarkoman blir det inte av mig, efter självmordsförsöket fick de till och med sätta in en pick-line, för jag var så svårstucken. traceys (bloggkompis sen 2005) kille injecerade i knät tills det gick sönder, nu injecerar han i armbågen, den har väl gått sönder också vid det här laget, med metaamfetamin. du, jag citerar allting till mitt självporträtt. det är hårda ord men jag tar inte åt mig. älskar ord :) <3 adhd medicin tog jag 1 piller 1 gång. jag låg som död i 5 timmar i sängen. nej tack, funkar inte på mig, lergigan funkar dock. benso. jo, hade antiparanoia medicin som var benso. hade det bara 2 gånger om dagen sen (morgon, kväll) så när klockan blev 4-5 på eftermiddagen fick jag sjuhelvetes abstinensångest. nu är jag utan de, truxal. nej, de är nåt annat, har dock en benzo sömnmedicin. vilar när jag vaknat från 9 till 14 på dagen, på grund av alla piller jag tvingas i. du har missbedömt mig, men intressant ändå. citerade dig på https://svenskadikter.com/Diskussion:Sofia censurerade vissa tokfeliga saker. kan väl va kvar men jag gjorde så. hej hopp. kan inte snorta saffran eller kakao (ALLTSÅ HUR KAN KAKAO VA SÅ BILLIGT NÄR MAN BLIR SÅ HÖG AV DET???????), får nosblod efter några första försökena. och neuroleptika stänger av receptorerna ändå så blir inte hög, mest biverkningar. är det för alla droger, utom snus, det går ju direkt från tänderna/tandköttet upp i hjärnan. är ur kroppen på 1-2 dagar också faktiskt, när jag provat att sluta. ja, jag överdriver väl en del. har fått det från min mor, hon är skorpion, mitt skuggtecken som oxe. hon påverkar mig väldigt mycket, varför jag har försökt vara ifrån henne, men skriver ingen poesi då. så funkar inte. konstig relation. hon är nu och hälsar på mig en gång i veckan. . vet inte direkt vad en tjackis är. jag skriver utan några droger alls. har blivit ilurad fultjack 2 gånger, var inte roligt. jag brukade äta mycket choklad, innan jag fattade att det inspirerade mig. men jag har skrivit i 60000 timmar, så har tränat upp det :) oj, jag namnde visst kokain. jo. snortade saffran en gång också. väldigt hög. väldigt :) nu tog jag min andra kaffe för dagen, nu är jag äntligen vaken :) började dricka kaffe när jag var 36, hade tandvärk... (och hatar tandläkare) jag mår bra hela tiden också. kaffe är ångestdämpande. brukade ta 1 gång per dag och mådde dåligt, 2 gånger nu och ångesten är bortblåst. har haft så jävla mycket ångest, det brukade komma vid lunch och hålla på tills solen gick ner. aj aj aj, sån psykisk smärta. började spela dataspel när jag var typ 2 år (1985, men människor tror jag är i 20 års åldern) så fick adhd från det, men tar inte såna piller. . ja, jag kände mig riktigt ensam när jag tog kokain en enda gång. det flödar så med droger nuförtiden, alla tar allting. att hitta nån som inte kan dricka "20 öl" blir svårare och svårare. därför tycker jag om djur. jag pratar med de :) skulle vilja ha en guldhamster som husdjur... och ja, eftersom gemene man tar alla helsikes droger, så mår de riktigt dåligt. jag har känt som de nån gång, men för det mesta mår bra, lycklig, sann, lugn, fri, trygg. sen människor som bara säger "bra" hela tiden. har du träffat nån sån? de gör mig galen... tourettes kallas det, sök hjälp knäppa människor! . jag drar dessa besserwissar till mig som säger jag vet det har jag hört man liksom vill inte prata med de då vilket väl är deras mål... respekt? hmph... jag är nöjd som det är nu poeter.se är fantastiskt har varit i den här skicket förut kunde röra mig då men jag lyssnar på musik och skriver hela dagen kunde inte ask for more om medicin behöver jag bara lägre haldol dos annars är den perfekt när jag var utan haldol i en vecka så spelade jag bara dataspel... hade för mycket energi... vågar knappt prata med läkarna de kanske hittar på en ny medicin så jag "gillar läget" jo en gång tog jag vallmofrön från ica och la de på en plåt och la in i ugnen såg ut som min knarkande faster dagen efter provade en gång med bella (utan opiumet första gången hade jag inte träffat henne, jag kom på hennes frekvens :) såg ut som min döende pappa och vi gjorde konstiga saker i sängen lol så gör inte om det mer... det känns varken hopplöst eller omöjligt nu jag är fri, lugn, trygg, glad, med musik i öronen och så så så mycket poesi :) och jag har förlåtit allt och alla som kanske sagt mor hälsar på en gång i veckan har några fler kompisar som har hälsat på också... men är som sagt utan ångest nu så livet leker skrev till dig i flera timmar tror jag haha inte så starkt kaffe på morgonen nu mera mjölk den här gången så är inte lika inspirerad. och en prilla i munnen life is good life goes on life is easy youtube blockade min adblocker så lyssnar på soundcloud istället alltid ny musik <3 :) blev bättre så... god morgon! . jag måste visst svara mer ändå. jag har dansat typ 10 gånger någonsin, varav varje kvinna säger "du dansar så bra, du läser mina tankar", vilket jag inte gör. får mig att tänka på det som sagts att jag är auktoritiv. aldrig tänkt på det. ser mig inte som "bättre" än andra (bara att jag accelererar snabbt när jag pratar IRL, så jag kör över människor, till vilket jag föredrar kvinnor, eftersom de spelar svaga / okunniga, och tycker om att lyssna. har hört 2 gånger "om du avbryter mig igen så slår jag dig", till vilket jag tystnade då. ja, jag avbryter mycket, gjorde det till lärarna i övre skolålder också. letar efter tankepausar och något klokt att säga tillbaka, eller roligt som det för det mesta blir). när jag var utan neuroleptika (och kaffe) kunde jag vid en tidpunkt bara lyssna på speedcore/extratone (annars är det drum n bass som gäller, eller ambient). var en låt, sunhiausa's "nothingness" (för speedcore är mer hjärndött än techno, så finns inte många bra låtar) som jag lyssnade på en hel månad, och sen startade ukraina kriget, så jag la ner den låten. ja, såna galna saker kan väl amfetaminister säga. haha. annars har jag mest suttit vid datorn hela livet, eller legat i sängen och lyssnat på cd skivor från second hand, och nu gör jag båda samtidigt sen självmordsförsöket. jag var musikredaktör förut faktiskt, de sa "du väljer så bra blandning", så var inte mycket dnb/ambient då. så jag har åstadkommit saker, vilket amfetaminister kanske inte gör. . jag känner nästan ingenting om jag tar nån drog (typ kaffe) får jag stånd och min syn blir lite bättre det är allt som händer dock förutom med saffranen den där gången... jag är mer suicidal mer deprimerad än manisk och jag har inte mina "episoder" styrs inte av månen jag skapar bara mycket och fick min OCD (varför jag tar snus nu) när jag skulle bli rockstjärna men inte många som lyssnat på mina skivor... jobbade stenhårt med de dock jag lyssnar ibland och de låter riktigt bra originellt varje låt är olika... var han musiker? är du musiker? bara undrar... åh jag blir kär i din bild haha ska försöka vila nu till 14:00 tiden när vi får kaffe igen vi hörs :) <3 Music mind En ärlig monolog. folk tror visst att jag är amfetaminist * de dansar mycket = jag har dansat 10 gånger men sägs va bra på det "du läser mina tankar" * de lyssnar på techno = jag föredrog ett tag värre än det speedcore/extratone annars blev det en progressiv artist inom drum and bass / ambient som jag mest lyssnade på som tonåring / tidig 20 åring * de tycker om att titta in i ficklampor = jag tittade in i solen ett tag när jag var utan dator blev inte hög direkt förstörde mer synen * de har dåliga tänder 3 * de kan inte ta kritik = jo det kan jag får inte mycket av det för det är mest jag som ger men jag har förlåtit allt och alla sen 2 år tillbaka * de tycker allt ska va fest hela tiden = OM DU VISSTE hur tråkigt mitt liv är * de tycker det är så roligt att säga slumpvisa saker = det här var mest förut jag blir hög av mig själv är väl bästa sättet att leva behöver inga droger det är mer att en sak leder till en annan att tänka i såna former kan va roligt man utvecklar hjärnan på det sättet (hög plasticitet) när man väl ska vara smart om det kan behövas i dagens samhälle... . the origins of satan, lucifer, and hell jesus wanted to give the wisdom of the archangels to the people but god wanted the power to himself the dwarves made a godsword to fight god but god used the sword of fire (entire universes circumference) so jesus lost and the dwarves got cast out of middle earth and god now satan invented hell and called jesus now lucifer prince of it . let the sociopaths win (extended remix) let the sociopaths win they can destroy the entire world in seconds we just dont stand a chance all this revolutionary action is just treading water there are no superheroes to save us only intensively lonesome people who get less of a kick every day and have to turn more and more corrupt to have a reason to live let the sociopaths win . dov doft jag kände doften av syrén för 2 dagar sen bara en enda gång kollade upp och de blommar innan kommer ihåg de sen sommaren vet inte var doften kom ifrån om det är många dofter tycker jag det alltid luktar saffran som på ett fullt pendeltåg eller en handduk eller en mikrovågsugn . i want my summer back i want my summer back with all that sweat i want my summer back with all that heat i want my summer back with all that light i want my summer back with all that time i want my summer back now its only half past 1 and its already getting dark and i feel lonely as i always seem to wonder how does one survive winter? but it will be a struggle which is what its always supposed to be i will survive i hope at least im only 40 its not my time to die yet yet i want my summer back with all that sweat i want my summer back with all that heat i want my summer back with all that light i want my summer back with all that time i want my summer back . DEW i acapulco från https://www.bitchute.com/video/2WSHHav9Fwz2/ DEW står för "directed energy weapons", otroligt starka ledlampor som kan smälta aluminium. förlåt för dåliga översättningen, vet inte vad det är för fel på google translate... DEW i acapulco (mexico) full media blackout! acapulco har förstörts av ännu en dew attack precis som maui! detta var inte en naturlig händelse! "det finns döda kroppar på gatorna, i hemmen och på sjukhusen - de finns överallt...!" så då, varför är inte detta den största humanitära nyheten i landet just nu?! varför är detta det första vi har hört talas om denna monstrositet, landsplattande storm?! jag ska berätta varför: det finns en fullständig medieblackout i full kraft & effekt på den här berättelsen, eftersom eliten lärde dig sin läkta efter att media circus började när de körde exakt samma onda plan på maui-invånare! plus…..militären är endast där för att blockera människor från att ta in aid! militär närvaro är bara att "upprätthålla räddningsinsatser" från att nå de som behöver det - människor dör överallt! eliter avfolkar öppet "fattiga" människor från "paradisliknande" områden för att göra anspråk på det "återuppbyggda" landet åt sig själva i en nwo-efterdyning! det ser ut som om det var en annan maui-attack, den här gången i acapulco, mexiko. vi ger dig den oförsökda, fullstända rapporten som beskriver den extrema skammaheten av vad som händer i acapulco, mexiko. det var noll varning från vädertjänsten om en orkan – för siktig en orrkan i kategori 5! han säger att folk gick och la sig på tisdagskvällen och trodde att allt var normalt och plötsligt förstörde 200 km/h vindar och en massiv stormflod i princip acapulco, som är en trevlig stad med cirka 700 000 människor. 27 personer har rapporterats döda. han har folk på marken, som äntligen kunde ta sig dit, genom alla lerskred och här är vad han hade att säga.... mackmc: "as far as Acapulco, i think the notion of white hats is a fallacy, thats not to say that a lot of people in and around Acapulco are not anti globalist, probably the opposite, indeed Acapulco has been a hub of those against the cabel who live there or travel to mingle, share and contribute to opposing the attack on humanity. the only white hats there, are are the ordinary people, i think the weather attack wasn't about child trafficking' as they just dont care about that because they simply get the children either way, i think the notion of 'sting operations, ' is fanciful as you can say that year after year and nothing changes, its a distraction, its like saying 'grab ya popcorn and wait for the white hats'[ i think its about the concentration of individual thinking people in Acapulco rather than human trafficker's being there that caused the cabel to weather attack" . njäe (la belle epoque) favorit i repris LYSSNA PÅ DITT HJÄRTA hjärtat sa håll om mig jag lyssnade inte hjärtat sa jag vill endast ha ömhet jag vet inte slutresultatet än hjärtat viskade nej jag lyssnade inte du bad ömt om att hela mig från alla smärtor och plågor mitt hjärta sa nej bella sa yippie bröllopsresa den varade 3 dagar sen sa ditt hjärta nej bella hörde mitt hjärta skrika nej men hon kunde inte hela mig drömmen sa ta inte för mycket ta inte för mycket jag lyssnade drömmen sa ska vi ta xtc bella sa nej jag lyssnade drömmen sa ska vi ta xtc jag sa nej du lyssnade bella sa stryp mig jag gjorde inte det däremot annat julia sa ska vi knulla jag sa jag vet inte julia sa ska vi knulla jag sa ok då drömmen sa ska vi knulla jag sa nej drömmen sa ska vi knulla jag sa nej han sa nej du sa nej lyssna på ditt hjärta vem den än är längtan är ett hjärta som brister och gjuter tillbaka det med guld tills endast guld återstår stenhjärtan är de mest sårade men till och med mobiler har tankar drömmar känslor och om du någonsin på något sätt överhuvudtaget har skadat ersatt bytt de så sviker de dig när du behöver de som mest en dag i framtiden när du aldrig skulle ha anat det DOES A SMARTPHONES HEART BREAK WHEN YOU DROP IT? my heart whimpered no i didn't listen you asked tenderly to heal me from all pain and agony my heart said no you said yippie honeymoon it lasted half a week then your heart couldn't go on beating for me anymore you said do you want to take xtc bella said no i listened you said do you want to take xtc i said no you listened you said i want to i said no we all wanted to but every one of us said no i said i have never been unfaithful to you bella you didn't listen listen to your heart whoever whatever wherever it is longing is forlornitude and mending the pieces of your selves with gold until only gold remains stone hearts are the most broken ones but even the lithium batteries in our old phone cry if you leave them in the dark too long so the next time you're mad at someone take your vengeance out on them not your phone if the eyes are the window to your soul then it's jampacked with scars which take an eternity of eternities to heal so listen to your heart wherever whoever whatever it is one day it might be too late everyone laughed at cybergoths before but what PC losers are running around horrified with masks these days six feet under six feet apart ring any bells quit it before you're indonesia quit it before you're venezuela your heart says something but you know in an instance if it's right or wrong your amygdala gives you choices let your wisdom decide in the end it's all that matters head heart muscle memory heal all your chakras or use your hate for something useful revolutionize your existance nothing else work hard achieve your spiritual goals appease hecate in 3 billion years she'll say thankyou . ensam? man vet aldrig var livet bär vilket underbar man så kan träffa en otrolig själ kanske inte gör en till deras träl utan en "lika-mycket" behövas väl om du klarar dig själv ska du va gla andra föredrar att va me andra och va elaka så stappla ut från garderoben ha på dig nåt fint och se du kanske får från någon som sen blir mer en än glimt . jag brukade älska honom (lauryn hill) jag fick den här på huvudet, när tracey sa "vad är det för liv att leva?". nu har den vart i huvudet i en vecka. jag har kommit på fler rader, men jag är så trött på den nu, så tänkte om jag översätter den kanske den försvinner. men jag använde mest AI, aka google translate, så det var inte mycket inlevelse direkt. jag tänker långsamt, talar långsammare, och skriver ännu mer långsamt. ändå har det blivit en del. jag kalkulerade det, sen 2002, att jag skrivit i 60000 timmar. vet inte om jag räknade rätt. men det är mycket <3 här från konceptalbumet "the miseducation of lauryn hill", släppt 1998, den första skivan jag någonsin köpte, på internet till och med! nu gör jag inte det jag brukade älska honom men nu gör jag inte det nu gör jag inte det när jag blickar tillbaks på vad jag har gjort den sorts liv jag har levt hur många saker jag ber om att fadern ska förlåta en sån sak var med en ung man han var havet och jag var sanden han stal mitt hjärta som en tjuv i natten dämpade mina sinnen och grumlade min syn (och jag brukade älska honom) jag brukade älska honom men nu gör jag inte det nu gör jag inte det jag brukade älska honom men nu gör jag inte det jag valde en väg av passion och smärta offrade för mycket och väntade förgäves gav upp min makt upphörde att vara drottning beroende av kärlek som en djävuls drog sliten och förvirrad bortkastad och missbrukad nådde vägskälet vart skulle jag gå fast och frustrerad väntade jag och debatterade för att något skulle hända som bara inte var ödesbestämt tänkte att det jag ville ha var något jag behövde när mamma sa nej borde jag bara ha aktat mig vilseledd blödde jag tills giftet var borta och ur mörkret kom den ljuva gryningen (åh den ljuva gryningen) nu gör jag inte det jag brukade älska honom men nu gör jag inte det nu gör jag inte det jag brukade älska honom men nu gör jag inte det far du räddade mig och visade mig att livet var mycket mer än att vara någon dum mans fru visade mig att kärlek var respekt och hängivenhet större än planeter djupare än haven min själ var trött men nu har den återställts eftersom den delen av mitt liv är över jag ser honom ibland och jag ser honom i ögonen är en av en man som har förlorat osagda skatter men mitt hjärta är guld jag tog tillbaka min själ och helt lät min skapare styra det liv som var hans (det liv som var hans det liv som var hans) till att börja med nu gör jag inte det jag brukade älska honom men nu gör jag inte det nu gör jag inte det jag brukade älska honom men nu gör jag inte det nu gör jag inte det jag brukade älska honom men nu gör jag inte det nu gör jag inte det jag brukade älska honom men nu gör jag inte det nu gör jag inte det jag brukade älska honom men nu gör jag inte det . MPD i musikvärlden MPD - multiple personality disorder det är det nya i musikens värld är det helt uppochned först typ på 00-talet gjorde man 1 låt per dag sen på 10-talet gjorde man 10 låtar per dag 1 per konto nu är det också 10000 följare som man styr har ett helt imperium med "musik" som kanske ingen bryr sig om... ai music också... man tränar ett ai att göra musik sen skriver man bara nåt och får en låt sen lär man upp ai:n att tänka själv och gör musik åt en trodde will sparks var ett alias till någon kände verkar ju vara hans stil på musikvideorna intemedlemlängre: MärkligtPoesiDrag. Uppfinn något nytt? , en romantisk snöig dag vi gick ut från jobbet först och stod och snicksnackade utanför dörren det hade börjat snöa vad jag inte visste då var att den ömtåliga tjejen som jag tagit hand om när hon trevande började jobba hade vart med i ett gäng och också gymnast med mycket mera... fantastisk människa det börjar snöa mer och hon fryser men jag skiter i det för jag vill prata! och vi skulle åt olika håll då hejar hon till en säkerhetsvakt som börjar gå åt oss och jag tar henne i handen och går i motsatt håll det snöar mer och mer enorma snöflingor till slut och vid medborgarplatsen så kysser jag henne i det vackra skimret från himlen ..........nästan jag var några centimeter ifrån hennes mun men ångrade mig en vecka senare på lunchen på jobbet säger hon att hon börjat vakna på olika tider har aldrig gjort det förr hon var den första enda som inte tröttnade på mig när jag inte tog kommandot senare år senare skriver jag en historia om hennes liv i colombia hon berätta den för mig i etern älskar hon mig fortfarande? ser hon mig i andra... jag förmodar det jag älskar dig matilde . viktigaste om man har det lätt ska man flyga det är det viktiga om man har vingar ska man bära nån med sig det är det viktiga om man har rötter ska man dela med sig det är det viktiga om man tvingar ska man få tillbaka det är det viktiga om man har fötter ska man dansa det är det viktiga om man går till reträtt ska man skyddas det är det viktiga om man skyddas ska man inte utnyttjas det är det viktiga om man är överviktig kommer man hungra det är det viktiga om man är bitter kommer man en dag dö olycklig det är det viktiga om man är viktig som vi alla är finns man det är det viktiga om man finns ska man skapa det är det viktiga om man förstör kanske kärleken räddar en för kärleken är det viktigaste om man älskar blir livet mycket lättare för kärleken är det viktigaste om man är man står man upp för andra det är det viktigaste om man är kvinna kan man ta hand om endast en vandrande pinne det är det viktigaste om man är barn ska man leka det är det viktigaste om man är någonannanstans ska man vara där det är det viktigaste vi är de vi är och gör vad vi gör det är det viktigaste Recycled Redhead 3.0 Do no harm! Yes. It IS the only thesis You're not alloved to forget. Marita Ohlquist En text väl värd att begrunda. . stalkers favorit i repris, en (1) enda person, alltså inte troll, kommenterade på svenskadikter.com med "fri vers är konsten att byta rad", sen tröttnade han och blev sur när jag inte visste vad jag skulle svara :( hette "sofia sotz" på den tiden STALKERS vi tyckte inte om ord som vacker hjärta kärlek förut men ovillkorlig kärlek är den högsta frekvensen stalkers är dom snällaste människorna Kämpendahl Du verkar inte vara stalker. Kan inte påstå jag begriper mig på det här med att köra med flera konton. Varför gör man så? Ni är två som gör det rutinmässigt. Du och en annan orolig själ som kallade sig Förnan förr. Kämpendahl Den galne Larz trodde du och jag var samma person. . hågkomst dikt remix det är bara slutet som är som förut, det var en av mina finaste dikter, sa bella. du kom till mig som en ängel men jag var ju en demon då ulv i fårakläder men du blev stark chef över en skivbutik om vi inte mötts och det som hände inte hade hänt vad hade det blivit av dig då? du är inte glad av dig längre som när vi möttes med din fina neongröna topp nu klär du helt i svart och tar stora beslut om någons framtid som jag förstörde din framtid eller var det bara ditt fel att du litade på mig eller var det bara mitt fel att jag sög ut din godhet och slängde den i soporna eller var det vårat fel att vi trodde att det skulle hålla mer än en one night stand eller var det något annat som vi inte kunnat påverka något i stjärnorna eller var det bara du eller var det bara jag eller var det bara vi eller var det bara något . högkomst dikt inte alls som originalet... what is there to live for? i sip some of my scolding hot coffee time passes things happen peoples happen together with eachother and i drink some of my hot coffee some arent meant for eachother, suddenly things, peoples, times and i put some milk in my coffee i see you coming and going from a distance i remember of what we once were and i finish drinking my coffee . karma / taoism jag håller inte med den vanliga synen på "karma" jag har klantat mig många gånger och det har blivit bra händelser av det karma betyder just det "händelse" en sak leder till en annan men inte på ett logiskt sätt det är logik i det men kosmisk logik som taoismen säger i det bra finns något dåligt i det dåliga finns något bra över tid blir det dåliga bra och det bra dåligt så ingenting att oroa sig över titta inte på tv så mycket läs inte dagstidningarna så mycket. jag föredrar att läsa poesi :) <3 . B.E.L.L.A. signerad på svenska dikter 16 december år 2021 kl 7 på morgonen (we shall not forget) BELLA I bella of the light loves me for who i am bella of the shadows tries to make me into a better human being bella of the ether teaches me things without uttering a single word BELLA II bella of the light is my best friend bella of the shadows is my everything bella of the ether is constantly by my side . dikt i fragmentarisk hågkomst leyla var min första riktiga kärlek. men det var hon som var attraherad till mig, jag blev kär i henne långt senare. finns en konstig låt om oss, publicerad efter mitt första självmordsförsök http://y2u.be/ml3PO22jPVg keya - leyla du distraherar från det så kallade livet och undrar när vi ska ta klivet och bli ett två tre lodjuret/seglare Själv har jag sällan lagt 'två strån i kors' för att verka vara produktiv. Om och när jag ändå varit det, har det inte ofta känts som något liknande plikt eller ansträngning, man har ju ändå ett val, eller? Som att läsa den här texten. Ingen har mig veterligen vridit om armen om min egen rygg för att som tvinga mig att läsa texten. Det känns som en fullt frivillig gärning att läsa denna text och som möjliigt njuta att det fanns ett 'före' läsandet, ett 'under' läsandet och så förstås allt det där som så möjligt kommer ta sig ut 'efter' läsandet. För så är det ju. Skulle jag ha gått till köket istället för garaget, om jag avstått möjligheten att läsa just den här texten. Få den här så möjligt underbara läsningen? Alls. . hur skulle du definiera en kvinna? skrivet från min tid på bitchute, mer finns på https://svenskadikter.com/Neoncast vissa är inlästa också med bakgrundsmusik och reverb så det inte blir så tråkigt. iaf, frågan kom upp under HBTQ skandalerna, vad en kvinna är? så här tänker jag: How would you define a woman Foreword no, im not, as as mention in the essay, an adherent of misogyni. if you check my diverse poetry, youll find hundreds of poems, describing all womens various positive features, in many many ways. since ive written so much about this topic previously, this might come out as an anti-thesis though. and, really, im born a guy, and i cant see myself from the outside, in the same light. so this might, at first glance, seem overly negative. id recommend you though, to read it, several times - so your emotions settle, and you might see the true form of the matter. the majority might not go farther than defining a woman as a "bitch", sex-object, or even - "fuck"-object, or for that matter, now, as a "birth-person". but, as with everything in life, the genders intrinsic differences go deeper than this. which i try to explore here - if, still, mostly in the form of a negative analyzation. Selfish, materialistic, shallow now, you might have noticed these words before, mainly used for rich white men, or just, men across the board. but were living in a matriarchy, an emasculated society, not the other way around. im not saying these are intrinsically "bad" gender traits either: selfish quite simple, they need to think of themselves first and foremost - when theyre carrying their baby, but also later, to be able to give birth to several. there is this universal law, which says that for a society to proliferate, or rather, for it to survive more than a couple of generations, the average woman has to give birth to 2-3 babies. as weve seen in the western world, this is far from whats happening. the average is instead 1 single kid. if you know whats going on in places like italy and japan, youll know that the average age is shockingly high. so without these so-called "stupid, evil, perverse, violent" immigrants, countries in the western world, would have disappeared by now, thanks to modernization. materialistic this goes all the way back to us being hunters and gatherers. while men mostly brought furs, bones and meat into the household, women collected smaller objects - like nuts and herbs. i know many men who only have one pair of jeans and one pair of shoes. while for the average woman, this is completely different. men are utilitarian, while women always want that extra plus of everything. shallow in the bird kingdom, its the males who are supposed to impress on the females. not so here. women do anything to attract a man. when was the last time you heard a guy say: "this women was harassing me by using revealing cleavage / bending over to show even more of her tits / had tight jeans / too much makeup"? just doesnt happen. but, women are just as guilty as men on all areas of the human spectrum. to blame it all on men, that women can do no wrong, that theyre defenceless - isnt "feminism", its just furthering the patriarchal modus operandi. The gender chromosomes - xx / xy this would say that women are 200% female, and males are 50%. so the whole world is composed of 125% women. by logic, this should really mean that its men who think with their both brainhalves, but science say its not so. men use their amygdala, and their proficiences in logical deduction, math and science to know how to act and understand the world. while women instead use their intuition, heart, emotions, memory and imagination. the problem with instinctually collecting more and more things, thinking of their looks to sick levels, hallucinating that its all about "me, i, and myself" - and thinking with their too passionate and chaotic "heart", relying on bitter memories of the past, or just going by intuition all the time - goes to show how women treat men, or other women, for that matter. instead of visible, active violence - women indulge in passive violence, so called "passive aggressiveness". and when it comes down to it, its your word against hers, and shell always win, as shes practiced her entire life on it. being materialistic im sure i dont have to explain a lot, its one of the first "no-nos" you learn in life. having laziness as a modus operandi, they easily want men to give them items, gold and slave-labour, with which they can live out their queen-dream of an extravagant lifestyle. shallowness is strange. thanks to the invention of make-up, liposuction and plastic surgery - you no longer have to put in an effort to look good. you can live an extremely hedonistic lifestyle, and still be able to look like a virgin, teen and pornstar - all your life. while its "masculine" to basically look and sound ugly - a collection of wrinkles and a dark destroyed voice, from decades of stimulant abuse - are a big plus after all, in a womans little black book. on the other hand - a lazy, junkfood gobbling woman, thats never exercised a moment in her life, has more shapes than the average female - which is highly appretiated by men. i mean, think of the same in male form - a geeky fattass who indulges in tasty food above all else - with bitchtits, babyskin and a light voice, thats in his 50s - who could ever want him? the highest suicide-count is for middle-aged men, not young women. but as the patriarchy wants to proliferate that "women are weak", and not wanting to realize their own short-comings, this isnt mentioned. Menstruation & beyond hmm, that didnt really turn out how i expected it. so, lets list more negative properties! when a girl gets into her teens, she starts being ruled by the moon, in 28 day cycles. now, for half of these, in a large portion of her life, she will feel beyond terrible - and menopause isnt to be taken lightly either. first, its PMS, then menstruation as well, both lasting a week each. so, a large portion of her existance is defined by pain. its mentioned in psychiatry-questioning literature, that a lot of women get the bipolar diagnosis when they start bleeding. though, they might just be hurting more than the average, or are worse at hiding their ill feelings. now, me, being a guy, i wont hide it - although most of the populace would say the opposite. if anything, when you hear my voice - it might implore you, to make up your mind on the matter. the thing is, i know what this feeling is like. you see, i tried it. to explain, if first adding a warning: i did this experiment - while accidentally, luckely enough, popping blood-thinners. also, if you have been jabbed, or have graphene in you from shedding, this is a real bad idea. youd probably die from a blood-clot, if anything. so, heed my warning, dont try this at home! anywho, i tied a string round my balls, simple as that. you know those matte rubber strings women use to tie up their hair in a horse-tail? one of those, yep. 2-3 courses around. i managed this a total of 5 hours, then i figured id had enough. before that passed, i managed a massive headache, a nausea which made me both want to vomit constantly, and also to a degree so badly, that i could barely stand on my own two feet. put these together, and i couldnt really focus on anything, neither make any original thought, or think at all, beyond "the pain, the pain!". now imagine having this for 2 weeks of every month, 24/7, for 3 decades. yeah. not something to be taken lightly. but women barely talk about it, and men are seemingly oblivious to the fact. just this, could make you bitter for life. but something else to take into consideration, that while men think with their dick, their active sexuality - women think with their uterus. while a man will fuck anything that moves, any time, any place, around the clock - the womans internal clock is different. she wants a provider and a care-taker - so its usually the guy with the most muscle-mass and the biggest economic leverage - who catches her interest, in the long run. this doesnt work so well a lot of times. before a woman reaches emotional maturity, maybe in her 30s, or even later, she will - also, just like guys, be governed by her hormones. and might only go by looks alone, and ignore every other warning sign. being more emphatic than angry at her choice, even if and when the man gets abusive - from her own psychological faults, she will stay with him. and even if the relationship ends, she might still pick the same type of guy again. then also goes to the fact, that men have emotions who arent really deemed "emotions", they are of the "hard" type - while women have the "soft" ones. like the aformentioned empathy, the ability to let out her feelings, both in verbiage, facial expression, and through the greatest release of all - the ability to shed tears. strangely enough, women turn to acting weak. i mean, they ARE weak, a major portion of their life. they dont have the same proficiency in sports, and thus, not in normal life as well. while women have an easier time building fat, thus distributed on select portions of her body, men have an easier time building muscles. while a woman might freak out in a difficult situation, a man will keep his shit together. thats one of the main problems with males. if we could cry easily, and it was socially accepted to do so, we would be more human, more in touch with our emotions, and thus, more feminine as well. neither society as whole, nor women, want this though. being unable to write down or express his emotions in other ways, the man turns to just collecting more and more of them. id favour the philosophy, that the majority of men rather implode than explode, when their mood is terrible enough. and even if they feel like complete shit, they still get the work done. take war veterans for example. do you think they go crying to their boss, sobbingly expressing "i killed 10 people today, in cold blood"? no. and especially, when they come home from fighting in a war, they get what is cutely called "anxiety", but the real word - is despair. taste it, doesnt sound like fun, huh? on the one hand, while horror is a passing emotion, despair is near-permanent. i know a lot about this. though i was deemed unfit, psychologically, to train in the military. but i have talked with a couple of vets, who all say the same, after my reflections: "i know man, i know". basically, the despair i was to get later in life, mostly caused by faulty neuroleptic treatment, made me get war veteran pain. or as ive deemed it by now: catatonic epileptic despair with aggressive and suicidal tendencies - in marathon lenghts of 8 hours, once a week, for over a decade. so, women, would you prefer being "weak" and crying for a minute, or trade it for turning into a human black hole? i know what youd answer. another part is, again, about active male violence, compared to passive female violence. a woman can nag, over and over, it can be about anything, everything, a lot of things. they do this constantly, several times, for several hours in total, per day. the guy though, does his best to please her, to provide for her, to entertain her, to care for her - and the family, the house, the car, you name it. but in the end, this can end very badly - when all those feelings shes forced down his throat, gets to the surface. for me, personally, when i got into a long-term relationship - she did give me despair. but sometimes, i lost it. no, i didnt hit her - but just like she had yelled me out when she felt "weak" - basically, her whole pregnancy - she, eventually, got just as much flak. and quite frankly, i cant stand her anymore. as a guy, i build up energy, and when it reaches a certain point, my personality permanently changes, and it doesnt seem like it ever fades. i could, for example, yell out in anger, or any other possible negative emotion for that matter, on a mountain top, and i dont think i would ever stop. so, either she pisses me off - anything can force me to that stage nowadays, with her around. or with her ingenious passive aggressiveness, she makes me suicidal. so it just doesnt work. and i dont think im the only one. the final note should be, before delving into the wrap-up - that i met a woman, who happened to be a pure-blood feminist. she did love the creative part of my personality. the problem was that - she, being a heavy alcoholic, that when it came to my intellectual desires - it wasnt her strong side - and basically, she would have nothing of it. so we got into a similar discussion, to what ive written here. eventually, she just fell apart, and i didnt see her for weeks. seemingly, her self denial - most surely helped by plenty of beers, had erased any reflection on my thought-pattern when i met her again. but i started the topic again, eventually - pushing her into a raging fury, and she ended our last conversation with "you just dont understand, and will never understand - if anything, first and foremost, because youre a guy". Wrap-up so, with that being said - id implore all of you - both men, women, queer - whatever. to explore, in thought, and preferably, with written down words - what it is to be a man, what it is to be a woman, and what its like to be in-between. without it, using only pure ignorance, unexplainable instinct, and invisible passive-aggressive clues to everyone else - we can only continue making mistakes, some of which are fatal, and even life-changing. if you get into terrible relationships constantly, the problem isnt your temporary spouse - there are plenty of fish in the sea - it relies solely on yourself. and if you happen to hate men, women or queers - no matter your gender - take a good, hard look - in the mirror. the answer to your pent up emotions might be easier than you think. if you ever manage to try to understand, deeply, what its about, a lot of negativity over your life, and its meaning - will disappear, and youll notice peoples percieved ill-intent towards you, will fade as well. and one beautiful day, some time in the near future - you might realize, where you are now, how you got here, where youll be when you get old, and the reason why you cant stand - or are constantly attracted to, even subconciously - so called assholes, bitches, or faggots. . alltid trott det var från romarriket... LIVE LONG AND PROSPER "Live long and prosper," was a Vulcan blessing, typically used when characters greet or depart. First used in the Star Trek episode "Amok Time" in 1967, it has been liberally used throughout the franchise ever since. It is typically accompanied by the Vulcan Salute and returned with the blessing, "Peace and long life." In the Vulcan language, "Live long and prosper," was pronounced "Dif tor heh smusma" (Star Trek: The Motion Picture). Outside of the Star Trek universe, the phrase and Salute are often used among fans. - Frakipedia . pathetic my life has been pathetic i know of some who get full concious awareness when theyre 2-5 years old not me it was until the 20s almost 30s then i was bullied 8 years so not much to look forward to then i wrote for 4 whole years more and more crazy then i had 40 notepad windows open then i had anxiety for 8 hours often that im so tired of talking about eventhough i dont know if theres a single poem about the phenomenon then the patheticness continued then 3 years, between 2013 and 2015 i was alive worked 4 part time jobs then i jumped spent half a year in the hospital not doing much more than listening to classical music since it was the only channel with unique songlist now i jumped yet again and lying in bed you cant do a lot now im praying and looking at the sky and got inspired to write this <3 :) . tsofmia neptlith i prayed until my hands shattered i worked until my knees were no more i looked for insight until i turned blind i loved until i couldnt remember all my grandchildren i drank until my stomache were no more i ate until i vomited up all my fears i feared until i became the darkness i was dark until i exhibited light i was light until i flew i flew until i reached beyond the sun i was a son until i met bella when i met bella all my dreams i didnt know of became true i became true until i couldnt lie no more i lied no more and i lived in light in andromeda i told my mom to never visit me again and i wrote no poems i wrote this poem because i let mom unto my life again i live again and i die again i am no more normal i am a freak and i like it that way i like it that way because i am a poet not a human i do not believe in wellness but i believe in wicca islam hinduism shintoism and taoism i know that is too hard to understand for feeble minds but i am not one even if i suffer oh i suffer i tried my second suicide attempt and am almost paralyzed everywhere but i am cyberpunk now nothing else i write to live i wrote when i die i write and write and write until there is only the word and it shall not pass unforgotten the clock says ive written for 5 minutes i used to write for 5 hours but that times is passed i dont know much what my reason for living is if it is not writing and my mom inspires me with her presence so i guess i love her the most thats how its always been and always will be bella is #2 and tessan is #3 and rhiannon and kirin is their ½'s if i dont write i dont know what to do that, and coffee, real strong so it tastes like petrol maybe i should change my addiction as bella once said "HAVE YOU INJECTED GASOLINE???" no, but i made myself a great ole tatu yet again thanks for reading if you cared and said none like'd none still liked in the ether and beyond pluto and lilith tsofmia neptlith tomas sofia i go by bye bye . shine all is forgiven all is forgotten its night time its ok its cool its twinkling in the stars shining on all of us to make our dreams come true goodnight sweet and bright select a favorite consellation and pray to it i know i do how idas and mine 3rd baby was born soon is a new day full of promises dont forget to wish upon a shooting star and awake after dawn with new hopes of a better tomorrow . 3 senaste aforismerna mer finns på https://svenskadikter.com/Yours_truly_tillägnad nedgången (SRV) 2023-10-26 13:00 jag tror på 80/10/10 det är inte som det är på tv 80% i världen är goda människor som bara vill jobba och ta hand om sin familj och inte gör någon förnär 10% är eldsjälar sista 10% är onda så då skulle jag säga att världen består av 90% goda människor 2023-10-25 15:00 dödsvisdom själen och egot är samma sak det enda som överlever döden är intellektet känslor hör till kroppen 2023-08 23:24 no ez every day is a struggle for everyone no matter who you are OSORTERAT vad sa provsmakaren om honungen? "den hade en konstig bismak" we must lose our fear of not doing everything perfect självförnekelse är den främsta dygden förlåt betyder förändring du är alltid motsatsen till vad du säger att du är och du är alltid precis vad du säger att andra är you are always the opposite of what you say you are and you are always what you say that others are . de fixar det ja, kanske la upp den förut. provade nikotinplåster, trodde de inte skulle ha nån stor effekt, pyttsan, fick massa bieffekter dock. har inte skrivit mycket. den här tog en hel vecka. skriven i ångest. kom ihåg den sen. en dikt som jag alltid kan återberät dammet morsan fixar det bilen farsan fixar det festen syrran fixar det ångesten brorsan fixar det
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Tomas Sofia Johansson-Jonsson
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