Sometimes I don't understand how you dare to look me in the eye. After all that's been said and done, after everything that we went through - or everything you put me through. Every thought you ever had, all the anger you should have ignored, and everything you blamed me for.
You blame me for forgetting to love you.

I suppose there's nothing I can say to remind you of the times you beat me to the ground with guilt, everytime I tried to make you laugh and was met with a cold glance, denial, repressing.
The need to be depressed was always present. A cold daze around you.
And you'd never let me go.

Maybe I don't remember why I made you so angry, all the time, everyday. Maybe I deserved to feel guilty. Maybe there was a real reason for your tears. Maybe sometimes I was there to help you put scars on your wrist.
And maybe I don't want to remember those things.
Everything goes away in the end.

But some things will always be with me, and your dreams are one of them.
The dreams when you and me were forever.
In a cloud of glitter, friendshipglitter, as you so poetically used to call it.
You and me with wings, floating around together in denial throughout our entire lives...
You and me caught in a vicious downward spiral of blame and guilt, always with you screaming in my ears for taking your love from you, for being there first, for existing, and forgetting.
In a downward spiral with me always running from you, avoiding promises of spiralling forever, and ever, and ever, trying to remember to always love you so you won't hate me.

Truth is, I forgot. Sooner than we thought.
And everything went away, except for the blame, shifting in shape and reaching for me, just like before, only now it was too far away.
But the guilt never left.
I don't know how it's possible that you forgot everything so easily, when I never will.
I've forgotten alot of our times together when I faked laughter to keep you from crying, but of all things, I never forgot the guilt.
Black, unreasonable guilt, courtesy of you.
And I wish I could forget. Just like you. It all goes away. And everyone forgets.