”You are really not so bad… not so bad at all” She had known him for some time but it was not until now that she realized the truth. All the harsh words and evil smiles aside, he was not so bad. Not at all. And it made her smile even more when she saw his insulted face.

“Did it take you six month to come to that conclusion?” He asked and she wanted to nod and smile some more. But she could not. She shook her head and looked deep into his eyes. Slowly, like walking in very deep snow, the truth reviled itself and she felt chocked.

“I think I have always known, from the very beginning. I think, I just have denied it.” As soon as she said the words she did not have to think anymore, she knew. She knew the truth in the tough and rough truth. During the six month they had known each other, she had never hated him. Never.

“From the beginning where I lay sick and cursed your bones?” He said that in a way to break the tension that was starting to build up and that was making him nervous. It did not work. That shiny look in her eyes was still there and she stared at him as if she was seeing him for the first time.

“When you lay sick and did not want to ask for my help. When you thought I was an angel…” Their first meeting always makes her smile when she thought back to it. She delivered the medicine that made him feel better, and not toss and turn in high fever. And when she came in to his room, there was no one else there. So she decided to see the precious child whose parent’s bought such an expensive medicine in hope for him to feel better. First she thought that he was asleep, but then he opened his eyes and stared at her… she thought that he would call the guards but he did not. He just stared for a long time…

“I did not see you like an angel…” She smiled briefly at him and shocked skeptic on her head.

“Of course not, you just asked me to kill you quickly and take you to my lord.” He blushed because of the memory and that made her smile a little.

“Well, okey then. Maybe I say you as an angel, but the pain confused me to the edge on insanity.” She looked him in the eyes and wondered if he saw the truth as clearly as she did. Could he feel the same? Like in a trance she took one step closer to him, and he automatically backed away. His habit was like a fast lightning of pain thru her heart when the second truth reviled itself. He avoided her

“The pain does the same thing for me right no. Why do you always walk away from me when I want you close? Why do you disappear when I come close?” She almost wanted to cry, but she did not. She could not allow that, did not want to humiliate herself in that way, especially when she for the moment was revealing her heart to him… Did he even notice?

“I do not.” She guessed that he did not notice, or that he did notice but ignore it. She surly hoped for the first.

“Do whatever you want but do not lie to me. You are walking away, but before you do tell me this: Do you feel that I do or am I imagining?” Speaking the truth in the clearest way possible without putting words in his mouth. Apparently it was the only way, but when she looked in his eyes she knew that he would deny even that.

“I think you are imagining…” For the first time in her life she hated to be right, for this little moment she wanted to be wrong.

She put her right hand on her heart and gave him a sad glance. “…That hurts… but if you could do me a little favor before you disappear, then I will let you disappear. Kiss me once and I will go, even though my heart lies before your feet.”

“Not that! Everything but that!” He was panicking and she was wondering why. Could it be that he saw the truth but denied it with all his force… did that mean that she could break thru? A second look in his eyes and she was told the opposite of her desire. He would not break, no matter how much she pushed.

“I never thought you to be a cowered…” She gave him a weak smile while he just looked generally offended. “Well then I just ask you to stand there and let me kiss you. All you got to do is stand still…” She did not give him any choice or opportunity to run away. One quick kiss on his lips and an urge for more, before she started to walk away from him. She did not look back, even though she wanted to. All she could do was try to fix the puzzle that currently is her heart. And even though he broke it she could not help but to whisper to the wind; I Love You.


He looked after her with a heavy heart and a confused mind. He wanted her… with ever bone in his body and his ancestor’s bones in their graves, he wanted her. He wanted her as his own. Wanted her for all his life… but he could not give in. He had a place in this world, a place where she did not fit in. Even though he wanted her to. A silent whisper in the wind, to air the feelings that will forever be shut down, he said I Love You, for the first time in his life.