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Burnt child dreads the fire?

I find in my heart a shaft of light. A bundle of love for the people who touch my soul. I find like so many times before. That I am built of dreams. Love. Laughter. Sorrow. I forgive so easy. I forget just as fast. And there I go once again. Opening my heart and soul to every stranger along the road. My tongue speaks to fast. I let go of my treasuries in an instant. Kling to the notion that every man and every woman wishes me well. Just like I wish for them. Might be I will burn my fingers, lips and feelings. A hundred times more. I cannot seem to shut this part of me away. It's just who I am. The way I'm wired. My heart is a door with no locks. My soul is a wanderer. Constantly sucking its breath in. At awe of the surroundings. This may mean I will be judged as a loony-stupid-blue-eyed-bitch by some. Those who easily play thieves and leave me scarred and smoldering in my burns. It has happened before. And surely I will have to pick myself up again, many times to come. But I will not. Cannot. Change this part of me. For this IS me. I live with my heart extending its tendrils of open love through every vein and fingertip. I see with eyes connected to soul. I speak with no filters on. Thoughts and feelings spilling bluntly with each word. And so I burn. It may be I will encounter a thousand burns and collect a trillion scars. But I will also love, laugh, feel and cry for the rest of my life with those who truly see the beauty in being a train wreck. A disaster. A wonder. A crazy star gazer. A naive lover. This is what defines me. My headless race into intense emotions. I'm a lost ship with broken sails in a stormy sea. Me, who will love you tonight and today, like you are and will always be, the only one. Me, who will spill my soul food straight into your lap. I will dance with the rainbow in my eyes. Spilling teardrops over your laughter. Maybe this is not a constructive way of being. It scares away and draws to close. I have really tried. To not be so flowing. In my watercolor world of mind and matter. When ever I try to turn down the volume of who I am. It just leaves me empty. So I will not fit myself into that shoebox again. Because it always tears apart in a massive explosion. I'm happy to say. The sun and stars. The moon and blood- Of my inner being. Will have to continue its turn on the heavens. And those who cannot hold it. Cannot stand to gaze upon it. Will move on. I will continue. As the hurricane I've been since the day I was born. Storming through life with a blaze of heartfelt, to loud, never balanced, soul searching, lovers dance..

Fri vers av Mamanooshit
Läst 220 gånger och applåderad av 1 personer
Publicerad 2014-05-08 11:05

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