the fear makes me unable
to swim any further
out into the darkness
this unknown
and unthreaded tomorrow
a life
I know nothing about
a new beginning
nonetheless

but if I stop now
I will sink
and I know
that maybe
maybe I’ll not be able to
find that way out
(or a way up
for that matter)
again

so I ask myself
over and over
should I sink
or should I swim?

I’m scared shitless
I tell you

but would I be able to
live with myself,
if I let myself sink
-fall into a much worse darkness-
(again)
though,

I wonder…

© Februari 2015