Trying to give
in to the pain
and sorrow
letting myself
to feel just how
much it hurt

But I'm just
so freaking
scared that
it all will be
like that again
as it was those
days before

So I clamp
my jaw tight
and struggle
against that
stinging pain
somewhere
in my throat

And I get so
angry with
myself cause
I know that
it's okey to be
sad and to
miss like I do

But the tears
eventually
will escape
anyway and
there I go
crying my
heart out
against
the pillow

You're just
some inches
away but
I'm afraid to
wake you up
so that you'll
see me in
this state

I know you'd
hold me if I
asked you
but sometimes
I get scared
that you'll turn
away in fear
or disgust

Sadness can
sometimes be
quite scary to
get too close
to and I just
wouldn't survive
seeing that
in your eyes